Misunderstood
by xThisGirlIsOnFirex
Summary: Santana has a breakdown at school but doesn't seem to remember much about it afterwards. Her bottled up emotions get worst and concerns grow when she mentions someone that the new directions have never heard of. Snix. With the help of her girlfriend Brittany, can they help her before it's too late?
1. Angry at the World

**This is a story idea that has been playing on my mind for quite a while. I hope you like it. It's rated T for now but may change to M later on, depending on how the storyline thins out. Enjoy. **

Mr Schuester tried his best to grab hold of the Latina as she sprinted across the teacher's lounge at full speed. There was no catching up to her when she was like this though. After Finn had outed her and she'd taken her anger out by slapping him, no one had expected this reaction from her at all. Finn had tried apologising, Brittany had tried, Quinn had tried, Miss Pillsbury and Miss Corcoran had tried and now it was Mr Schue's turn. It was hopeless. She wouldn't stop screaming.

"Emma, Shannon; can you leave please?" he asked politely as he managed to grab hold of Santana and lead her into the teacher's lounge. The guidance councillor and the coach both knew how upset and angry Santana had been so they nodded, took their lunch and left. "Right, sit down on the couch over there," he told Santana and gestured to the red couch over in the corner. "And calm yourself down until you are ready to talk to me."

Santana just reached out and hit the teacher hard on the arm. In all his years of teaching, Mr Schue had never known Santana to flip out at people like this and he had to admit that it scared him. It was just so unlike her. He knew she got angry but not this angry.

"Santana, do as you're told," he slowly and carefully let go of her, hoping that she'd calmed down a bit now. "Go and sit down, I'll be over in a minute." Santana grabbed hold of a random chair and picked it up. "Put that down." She shook her head, "Put it down," he flinched, begging that she wouldn't aim it at him. He knew he wasn't Santana's favourite teacher but he was the only one who actually knew her well enough, from teaching her in Spanish and Glee.

"Fine!" she yelled loudly and turned round before throwing the chair through the glass window of the teacher's lounge. Santana just stared at the mess she'd made and began breathing deeply. The door opened and most of the teachers in the school, including Miss Pillsbury raced in with students close behind.

"Whoa," Quinn spoke in shock, her mouth agape and her eyes wide open; shocked at the mess that Santana had caused. She'd never seen her best friend like this before. The only time she'd seen her close to this was when Quinn had told Coach Sylvester about her boob job to get the place of head cheerio. Santana had flipped out then but this seemed much worst.

"Everyone out," Mr Schue spoke calmly as they left. Miss Pillsbury hovered in the doorway with Quinn for a short while but soon decided to leave. Quinn stayed where she was, hoping that she could maybe attempt to calm the angry Latina down. "Quinn, go," the Spanish teacher ordered the blonde. Yes, what Santana did was wrong but he thought it best not to yell at her just now. She was already angry and upset as it was. Realising that Santana could easily make a run for it; he quickly grabbed hold of her arm. She screamed and tried to yank it away but he had a death grip on her. "Explain yourself."

"Mr Schuester, maybe I...maybe I could try," Quinn said nervously. She used to be Santana's best friend and she admitted that ever since she got pregnant, they hadn't really talked but she was scared for her friend and she wanted to be the one who she trusted and calmed down for. The only other person Quinn could think of was Brittany but secretly, Quinn had been jealous of their friendship and although Brittany _was _Santana's girlfriend, she decided not to get her.

"You can have a go," he sighed, still holding on tight to Santana's arm.

Quinn smiled and slowly made her way towards Santana. Santana's eyes were fixed on the shattered window pane that lay before her and Quinn knew that it would cost a lot of money to get that fixed. Usually students would be suspended for that sort of behaviour but Santana seemed sort of a special case and until they found out what was actually going on, she wasn't in trouble.

"Hey babe," Quinn said, tucking a lock of Santana's hair behind her ear and smiling sweetly. She often called Santana babe or baby which was one of the reasons Brittany had thought they were dating when she arrived at the school. Somehow, the use of the nickname relaxed Santana though and her heavy breathing subsided. "Do you want to tell me what this is about?" The silence didn't appear awkward to Quinn one bit. She knew never to push Santana in situations like this; she often unloaded her emotions to people when she was ready and in her own time, not other peoples. Knowing the Latina too well, she managed to grab hold of her leg to stop her from kicking her straight in the stomach. Quinn thanked God that she wasn't pregnant at this point or it probably would have caused her a lot of pain. "Ssshh," Quinn soothed her.

"Will," Mr Schue turned round to see Miss Pillsbury standing in the doorway with Brittany at her side. He smiled and mouthed a small thank you at the guidance councillor. Everyone knew that if anyone could calm Santana down, it was Brittany. She patted Brittany on the shoulder and walked away. Quinn noticed Brittany put her bag down and walk over and subtly rolled her eyes and backed away from Santana, being careful not to step on the mess of glass that spread over the floor. She hated that she couldn't be trusted to help Santana out with anything; it always had to be Brittany.

"Hey sweetheart," Brittany knelt on the floor and gently caressed her girlfriends arm. "Hey, what's all this for eh?" she soothed. Quinn crossed her arms and rolled her eyes once again, annoyed that Brittany was treating Santana like she was five years old. "What's all this?" Santana was still struggling to get away from Mr Schue's grasp but when she couldn't; she just let loose a loud, high pitched scream. "Wow," Brittany sat back with her hands clamped over her ears. "You do have a loud scream on you San. Can you stop screaming just to tell me what the matter is?" Brittany flicked her long, blonde hair out of her eyes and continued to rub at Santana's arm. "Listen, you don't have to tell us anything if you feel that you're not ready." Quinn shook her head, thinking that Brittany was going about this the wrong way. Of course Santana had to tell them what was wrong.

"But maybe just calm down a little," Brittany continued, planting a loving kiss on Santana's cheek. "Take a seat on the couch like Mr Schue told you to, take deep breaths and lie down and maybe just have a little nap. I always feel better after a little nap."

"I don't think you're helping," Quinn mumbled from the corner, her arms still crossed.

"Are you gonna have a lie down?" Brittany questioned Santana, ignoring Quinn completely. "You'll feel better and then maybe later, we can have a chat about what's made you like this eh?" Santana was silent but Mr Schue slowly let go of her, trusting Brittany. The blonde took Santana's hand in hers and stood up, leading Santana over to the couch. Quinn and Mr Schue stood waiting for an eruption from Santana any minute now but nothing happened.

"How does she do it?" Mr Schue asked, watching as Brittany helped Santana lay down before taking a seat on the edge of the couch. Quinn just shrugged her shoulders. Brittany leaned down and kissed Santana's forehead. Santana whimpered a little and buried her face in the couch but she allowed Brittany to take her hand and sit with her for as long as she wanted.

**I have to admit that this is one of the best chapters of a story I've ever written. I hope you liked it and will be kind enough to favourite, alert or review. If you do like the story and if you do favourite and alert then please take the time to leave a nice review as well, even if it is short. It just makes readers happy. **

**I'll try and update soon.**


	2. Emotion Activities

**Boris Yeltsin: Glad you think it's one of my best chapters.**

**Just Kayleigh: Thank you :)**

**cooookiemonster: I've finished college now and don't have any work to do. I've also been off ill so I've had nothing to do. Lol. **

**GleekBrat: Thanks ever so much. Glad you like it. **

**xSantanaAndBrittanyAreMyLifex: Thanks. I love your stories as well, they're amazing. **

**BrittSnixx: Thanks, I love the pen name. **

**theatergirl129: Thank you, love the pen name seeing as I love going to the theater. **

Santana's eyes slowly flickered open and she scanned the room that she seemed to be in. It didn't take long to realise that she was lying on the couch of the teachers lounge and that the voices talking belonged to Mr Schue and Brittany. She whimpered a little as she sat up, dizziness taking over her body. She'd never felt like this before, it was strange and she felt like if she stood up she'd suddenly pass out.

"Hey, look who's up." She recognised the voice as Mr Schue's voice and she rubbed at her forehead with the palm of her hand. The teacher came over and knelt on the floor so he could look Santana in the eyes. "How are you feeling?" she just shrugged her shoulders. She attempted to talk but nothing came out. "Do you want to talk about it now, or later?"

"Talk about what," she croaked, coughing a little. Brittany then came over and placed a cup of water on the coffee table in front of her. Santana thanked her as Brittany took a seat beside her.

"Your little outburst earlier on," Mr Schue told her, trying to make a joke out of the whole thing. It was hopeless. Santana scrunched up her face in confusion and shook her head. It was obvious that she had no idea what he was going on about. "Don't you remember?" he asked her, "You must have been in a real deep sleep."

"I don't remember," she admitted in a quiet voice, "What happened?"

"You got into an argument with Finn because he outed you," Brittany informed her girlfriend, "You slapped him and then you wouldn't stop screaming. Mr Schue had a hard time trying to calm you down."

"I think I'd remember that," Santana chuckled lightly and ran a hand through her messy hair. "What really happened?" Brittany bit her lip and looked rather scared, her hands placed on both of Santana's shoulders.

"Brittany, why don't you head back to class?" Mr Schue suggested. Brittany faintly nodded and kissed Santana on the cheek before walking out. She picked her bag up on the way out and left to go to her next class. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Santana sighed, "Can I go back to class now?"

"No," he pushed her back down on the couch as she went to stand up. "Take it easy and rest. I'm not having you go back to class after what happened and seeing as you don't even remember it..."

"I don't," she told him, "I remember Finn outing me." Santana whispered and glanced down at the floor. "But I didn't slap him and I certainly didn't flip out at anyone. I'm not five, I know how to control myself."

"Santana, we all saw you," he said calmly. "You threw a chair through the glass window causing that to smash." Santana looked over at the window. The pieces of glass had been cleared up but the window was still broken and there were cones surrounding it so no one would go near it. "You hit me tonnes of times and you tried to kick Quinn, you wouldn't let anyone near you. Brittany was the only person who managed to calm you down." Santana just looked at him. "So, are we going to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about," Santana scowled, "Because that didn't happen." He went to talk but she interrupted. "No! I would remember something like that, I'm not crazy."

"Calm down," he placed a hand on her arm.

"Get off me!" she screamed and yanked her arm away from him, "I told you before, I am not crazy! So stop thinking I am and stop suggesting that I talk because there is nothing, I repeat NOTHING to talk about!"

"Santana," he soothed, "Would you like me to call your mom? She can come and pick you up." Santana shook her head and sat back against the couch, folding her arms across her chest angrily. Miss Pillsbury walked in. "Emma, you know that T...H...I...N...G that you keep in your bottom D...R...A...W...E...R in your office?"

"I can spell, you know?" Santana snapped. Miss Pillsbury paid no attention to the angry Latina and nodded at Mr Schue as he tried to calm Santana down.

"Could you go and get it for me please?" he asked.

"Sure," she smiled and placed her bag down on a random chair before leaving the teachers lounge. Santana didn't even bother asking Mr Schue what the thing was. She knew that Miss Pillsbury's bottom drawer was full of things for the students who needed extra special help though and so, she wasn't pleased about it. Miss Pillsbury soon came back and placed a huge blue folder down on the table in front of the couch. "Is everything okay?"

"Fine," he nodded at her. She went to sit down at the table and he opened the folder to take out a sheet of paper and a coloured pen. Santana watched, beginning to feel sick to her stomach. She just wanted to leave, to go back to class and pretend that nothing ever happened. She couldn't even remember what had happened. "I want you to fill this worksheet out," he handed it to her. "It's pretty simple."

"Depressed, angry and happy," Santana read aloud and placed the sheet back down on the table. "I am not depressed and so what, everyone gets angry at times."

"Fill it out," he told her, "Exactly, everyone gets angry at times and everyone gets depressed sometimes. Just write down what you do when you're depressed, what you do when you're angry and what you do when you're happy. We'll start with depressed, any ideas?"

"Well..." Santana became deep in thought. "Um...I was seven and my rabbit died so I...I guess I was pretty depressed over that. Stupid, I know," she sighed.

"It's not stupid," he shook his head, "What did you do?"

"Just locked myself in my room and wouldn't come out for three days," Santana told him. Mr Schue knew that that wasn't normal behaviour for a seven year old but he nodded anyway as she wrote it down. "I sometimes listen to music when I'm upset, sort of helps me and gets me away from the real world."

"That's good; is that it then?" she nodded, "What's next?"

"Angry," she whispered, "I don't usually talk to people. I sometimes throw things, get into fights, the usual angry behaviour that most people do." That explained it to him. It was the exact behaviour that had happened earlier on which is why he was worried that she couldn't remember any of it. She wrote that down and glanced at the word happy.

Happy? What did happy actually mean to her? The only time that she was ever happy was when she was with Brittany, her home life was pretty hard and no one at school really liked her. She took a deep breath and wrote down one sentence, explaining what she did when she was happy.

"I hang out with Brittany," Mr Schue read as she handed the worksheet back to her. "Thank you Santana; you may go now." He smiled at her and slipped the sheet back into the blue folder.

"That was it?" she questioned, raising an eyebrow. He nodded. Pleased that she could finally go, she got up from the couch and walked out of the teachers lounge without hesitating.

**Thank you for all the reviews. It means a lot. If you review or ask a question in your review then I will reply to each review in the following chapter like I have done here.**

**I'll try and update soon. **


	3. Worried Friends

**GleekBrat: Yeah, I'll be mentioning more about that worksheet soon. **

**BrittSnixx: Thank you :) **

**xSantanaAndBrittanyAreMyLifex: Thanks and yes, more Brittana will come. **

**Boris Yeltsin: They probably will.**

**Albiminion: We'll have to wait and see. **

**CrimsonJoy: Thanks, the older one was meant to be this one but I wasn't too happy on the first chapter so I changed it to this. I personally prefer this one as well.**

"She shut herself in her room and wouldn't come out for three days," Mr Schue yelled as he slammed the blue folder down onto Miss Pillsbury's desk. He began pacing up and down her office whilst running his hands down his face and the guidance councillor just watched whilst brushing at her desk with a toothbrush. "And just because her rabbit died as well. I mean..."

"She was seven Will," Miss Pillsbury interrupted him, reminding him of her age. "Kids get really upset about their pets dying. I know shutting herself in her room and not coming out for three days may be unusual behaviour for seven year olds but Santana has never really been normal."

"I know it's hard losing a pet but really?" The door opened and Brittany walked in. Mr Schue jumped, thinking that it could be Santana but it was just Brittany. "Brittany, you should knock before entering."

"Sorry," she apologised quietly, "Are you talking about Santana?" Both teachers were silent, "Look, Santana has always been kind of like that so I wouldn't worry. Did I tell you about how we met?" Mr Schue shook his head, "We knew each other before we came to this school. We were only eleven. Um...I...I was out with my mom one day and she'd just gone into a store so she let me stay outside for a bit. It was near this huge bridge just above a lake. I was looking down into the water, watching when I saw this girl standing at the edge, about to climb onto the side of the bridge. It was Santana and she...she told me that she wanted to jump because she couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know her then but I couldn't just stand there and let her jump. Somehow, I managed to stop her and that's how we became friends."

"Why was she going to jump?" Miss Pillsbury asked.

"I don't know," Brittany shrugged, "I never found out the reason."

"You've known this all this time and never told anyone?" Mr Schue asked in shock. He hadn't known that about Santana at all and usually if Brittany was worried about Santana or knew something, she'd tell someone. He could half understand why she hadn't told anyone though. Brittany shook her head and looked down faintly with embarrassment. "Go on," he gestured towards the door. She weakly smiled at them and left, shutting the door on her way out. Santana was just walking towards her.

"Hey baby, what were you doing in there?" she asked Brittany.

"Nothing," Brittany smiled and hugged her, "Just talking to Miss Pillsbury about something. You okay?" Santana nodded; "Did Mr Schue speak to you after I left?" she nodded again but stayed silent, "What did he say?"

"Just made me fill out some dumb worksheet about emotions," Santana sighed.

"I'm kinda worried about you," Brittany confessed, placing an arm round her girlfriend's shoulder. "And don't tell me that I'm being stupid because I kind of have a right to be, you know? You scared me earlier San with your behaviour."

"I've had a bad day," Santana stopped walking and shrugged her shoulders at the blonde, "Finn outed me publically and you know how sensitive I get about my sexuality and coming out. It just got me angry and I don't even remember any of my behaviour after that so I don't see why you're worried."

"That's what scared me," Brittany placed a hand on her shoulder, "You took a nap and when you woke up, you couldn't remember anything. It was like you were comatised or something and it...it just scared me."

"Is comatised even a word?" Santana asked and Brittany just shrugged, having no idea if it was a real word or not. She tended to make up a lot of words that didn't even exist. "Sweetie, I don't want you to worry about me alright? I know how worried you get, please don't."

"I can't promise that San," Brittany told her. "I...I told Mr Schue and Miss Pillsbury about how we met," Santana's eyes widened, "Sorry San but I was really worried about you and they...they thought something was going on..."

"Great," Santana muttered sarcastically, "Now they'll think I'm even crazier, won't they?"

"No," Brittany reassured her sweetly. "They won't San; they won't. They don't think you're crazy now, do they?" Santana shrugged her shoulders, "Well I certainly don't think you are," Brittany leaned in and kissed her cheek, "You're my girlfriend and I love you."

"Thanks," Santana laughed and managed a smile. "You've always been there for me Britt." Brittany nodded and hugged her tightly. "Come on, we better head off to class." Brittany nodded and took Santana's hand in hers before going off to math class with her. They bumped into Finn on the way. "Move aside Finn."

"I...I want to apologise," he said, "Look; I know what I did was wrong and yes, you had a right to slap me but..."

"I didn't slap you!" Santana yelled, fed up of everyone saying that about her.

"Yes you did," Finn scoffed, "But you had a right to. The truth is, I...I think you were only being a bitch because you were scared of dealing with the consequences and that's understandable. Inside, I...I think you're awesome." Santana didn't answer him and just folded her arms across her chest. "So, yeah...I...I do understand why you slapped me and I admit that I kind of deserved it."

"I didn't slap you!" Santana screamed.

"Why don't you remember slapping me?" Finn yelled, "We all saw you and it echoed throughout the entire auditorium for goodness sake!"

"I remember it," Brittany whispered. Santana turned on her heels and glared at her but regretted it as soon as she noticed tears forming in her girlfriend's eyes. She quickly apologised and gave her a comforting hug. "She accepts your apology Finn."

"No I don't!" Santana told her angrily, "I don't accept his apology and I never will," she grabbed Brittany's arm and yanked her away, "Let's get to class. I don't want to be late." Brittany mouthed a small sorry at Finn as she followed Santana off to class.

Even Finn couldn't help but worry about Santana.

**Well, looks like everyone is beginning to worry about Santana now. I hope you liked the little story of how Santana and Brittany first met, anyway leave a review and stay tuned for the next chapter. **


	4. Science Trouble

**Boris Yeltsin: She will eventually.**

**GleekBrat: Snix will be mentioned soon, here's an update :)**

Brittany and Santana were always lab partners in Science class. Neither of them was too good with Science but Brittany was just confused nonstop so Santana at least tried to have a go with the experiment. Today, they had to mix two different coloured liquids together and Brittany watched with her elbows propped up on the table whilst Santana just did the experiment with a really confused expression on her face.

"San, have you got a pen that I could borrow?" Finn asked as he came over to them, tapping his fingers on their desk. Santana just shook her head coldly as she poured the green liquid into the bottle of blue liquid. She was still refusing to talk to him and he obviously didn't need to borrow a pen. He just wanted to try and get Santana to talk to him again. It was hopeless though. "San, please talk to me. Even if it is just two words, I don't mind."

"Leave her alone Finn," Brittany whispered, not wanting him to anger Santana. It was horrible seeing her angry and Brittany hated it. She knew how easily upset and hurt Santana could get, even though she never showed it.

"No, I just want her to say something to me."

Santana stepped towards Finn and pursed her lips together, tipping the entire bottle of blue liquid over him. Finn screamed as he looked down at his stained t-shirt, his eyes widening with shock at Santana. Most of the class began laughing but their teacher, Mrs Harrison was not amused.

"Santana Lopez!" she yelled, storming over with a wad of paper towels to clean Finn up. "We are not in the first grade! You should know better than to throw scientific experiments!" Mrs Harrison grabbed the half empty bottle from Santana and slammed it down on the desk.

"He wouldn't stop bugging me!" Santana yelled, picking up her pen and chucking it at Finn, "And take the fucking pen!"

"Get to the principal's office!" Mrs Harrison yelled, fed up with her. Santana wouldn't move; she could feel the entire class staring at her and she couldn't help but feel embarrassed. "Now," Santana kicked her chair over and pushed Finn backwards before storming out of the science lab and making her way to the principal's office. Principal Figgins seemed a little surprised when she burst in.

"What is it now Santana?" he asked with a sigh. He still wasn't impressed that Mr Schue had let her get away with being suspended. In his opinion, she should have been. "Have you finally made up your mind to be suspended?"

"Mrs Harrison sent me here," she mumbled and turned to kick the wall, her arms remaining crossed. She hated Principal Figgins but before he could ask her why, the door opened and Mr Schue walked in. He looked angry so Mrs Harrison had obviously told him the story. "Go away," she leant back against the wall with her hands behind her back.

"She should be suspended William," Principal Figgins said.

"No," he shook his head at the principal and came to place a hand on Santana's shoulder, "No suspension! Come with me."

"Get the fuck off me!" Santana screamed and kicked him in the shin. He grabbed her arm and yanked her out of the principal's office. Classes had just finished and so the entire Science class were filing out. The teacher dragged the Latina towards the teacher's lounge and took her inside, noticing Miss Pillsbury and Coach Sylvester sitting at a table talking.

"What are you doing with one of my Cheerio's, William?" Coach Sylvester asked.

"Teaching her a lesson Sue," he told her as he took her over to the red couch, "Lie down." Santana refused and began screaming again, "Lie down!" he managed to pin her onto the couch, "Lie down!" he repeated as she lay down onto it. "Emma!" he called and Miss Pillsbury came over straight away.

"What is it?" she asked.

"Get some water for her," Miss Pillsbury nodded and hurried over to get a cup of water. Santana was now lying on the couch, Mr Schue holding onto her arms tightly. Last time, he let her go and she ran off so he wasn't taking any chances this time. She kept screaming and kicking as Miss Pillsbury came back over with the water. "Thank you. Santana, do you want a drink? Have some water?" Santana shook her head and ended up knocking the entire cup over. "That's a no then," he sighed.

"Can I do anything?" Miss Pillsbury asked.

"Just let her calm down, she'll tire out eventually."

Santana did eventually calm down. She lay on the couch for a bit, breathing heavily before Miss Pillsbury went to get her another cup of water. Mr Schue helped her sit up and take a few sips before placing the water on the table. Santana had tears streaming down her face as she lay back down.

"Get her a tissue," Mr Schue mouthed. Miss Pillsbury went to grab the box of tissues from the front of the room and came and placed them on the table. He took a couple and handed them to her to wipe her eyes with. "Calmed yourself down now?" he asked, rubbing her back as she had another sip of water.

"What happened?" she whispered. "I feel sick."

"Because you got yourself in such a state," he laughed, "Don't you remember what happened?" she shook her head, "What has gotten into you Santana? I think we need to have a serious chat about it." He looked up at Miss Pillsbury who was watching. Santana coughed and had some more water. "Can you go and get the folder again please?" Miss Pillsbury nodded and went away to her office, soon coming back and handing Mr Schue the blue folder full of the worksheets on depression, illnesses and self esteem. "You can start when you feel up to it," he placed a sheet down with a red pen.

"I don't want to do a stupid sheet," she complained, "They don't help."

"You might not think they do but I'd rather you do one." She just nodded and picked up the pen to slowly fill out the sheet.

"I'll leave you to it," Miss Pillsbury smiled and walked away. Santana sighed deeply as she sat back against the couch to fill out yet, another worksheet.

**Okay so I don't exactly know when I'll bring Snix in and I'm not exactly sure how either. The next chapter will mention Santana's second worksheet she had to do so have you got any ideas on what that one could be about or what she could have written? Thanks for reviewing. **


	5. Symptoms

**Boris Yeltsin: Thanks for the review.**

**GleekBrat: I replied to you in a PM but it is slightly confusing. I'm building it up though so it'll become clearer, hopefully.**

**Guest: Thank you :)**

**BrittSnixx: Thank you, glad to know I make you smile.**

The next day before first period, Brittany found Santana standing at her locker. Santana shot one glance at her girlfriend and rummaged through her backpack for another book to shove in. She'd been dreading talking to Brittany all morning, mainly because she knew that Brittany would start telling her how much she was worried and stuff. Santana put another book into her locker and decided to give it a quick clear out and tidy up to try and pass the time. Brittany then decided to be the first to talk.

"Can I ask you a question?" Brittany whispered and when Santana didn't answer, she took it as a yes. "What's going on with you?" Brittany shrugged her shoulders, "You usually wait for me outside in the mornings and today you just left. I waited five minutes but you never showed up. Then Quinn said you were already in school."

"I had to get to school early this morning," Santana said quietly.

"How comes?"

"Mr Schue wanted to see me," she sighed, "I was sitting in my room last night doing my homework when my mom came in. She sat me down for a chat; apparently Mr Schue had called her up explaining my behaviour and wanted to see me early this morning. Before I could refuse, she told me not to argue and that I was going so I had to come."

"You could have sent me a text," Brittany smiled and folded her arms across her chest. "I would have understood that. So, you were doing that Spanish homework?"

"Um...not exactly," Santana bit her lip nervously and slammed her locker door shut, "I was doing it but then after the chat with my mom, I just wanted to sleep and I completely forgot about it." Santana kicked herself mentally and leant back against the lockers.

"You are in so much deep flowers," Brittany told her.

"What?" Santana glanced over, confused.

"I don't want to say that you are in so much deep shit," Brittany said, "It's rude language San; flowers is a nicer word." She smiled from ear to ear. "We have Spanish first as well. You're not going to be able to get that done." Santana shook her head as the bell rang for class, "Come on," Brittany linked her little finger with Santana's and the two of them made their way to Spanish class. They were the first two in the room. "I hate this class." Brittany said as she walked round the room, glancing at the different pieces of work stuck up on the wall. "Mainly because I can't do it."

"It's not that bad," Santana smiled, placing her bag down and walking over to her. The door opened and the rest of the students began filing in and taking their seats. Santana took Brittany's hand and the two of them sat down at their desk, until Mr Schue came in. Santana helped Brittany throughout the entire class, translating for her and everything. There was a knock on the door and Mr Schue went to answer it, seeing Principal Figgins and Miss Pillsbury standing there. Miss Pillsbury was holding her blue folder.

"Okay class, I'll be back in a minute," Mr Schue told them and left the room, shutting the door behind him. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Principal Figgins was um...telling me that..." Miss Pillsbury began, "You won't allow him to suspend Santana."

"Is that really what this is about?" he questioned, running a hand through his hair, "I won't allow her to be suspended because I don't think she's well." His voice turned to a whisper as Miss Pillsbury handed him the folder, "What's this for?"

"I have sheets in there on mental illnesses," Miss Pillsbury said, "I remember my first patient was a young boy with bipolar disorder. These sheets have the symptoms of each illness on, I...I hate to say it but I think she could be mentally ill."

"She's never acted like this before though," Mr Schue hissed, "Apart from the time that Brittany told us where she threatened to jump off a bridge and yes, sometimes Santana is a little mean towards other members of her class but most teenagers are like that. It's only recently, she's been hitting and screaming and refusing to calm down and she never even remembers it afterwards."

"Mental illness symptoms can occur in any age," the councillor shrugged at him. "I'm not saying that you should take her to a doctor's because we're not sure but just keep a close eye on her." Mr Schue nodded but then realised something and widened his eyes.

"Me?" he asked, "Keep a close eye on her."

"She knows you better," Miss Pillsbury nodded and smiled, "If things get worst though; I think she should be suspended." Mr Schue nodded, "Keep the folder for now," he thanked her and walked back into his Spanish classroom, shutting the door behind him. It was soon the end of class and Mr Schue thought that it was best to have a quick word with Santana. He called her over as she stood up.

"I'll wait for you," Brittany hugged her and left as everyone handed in their Spanish homework. Santana nodded and took a deep breath before going over to Mr Schue's desk, putting on a fake smile. He had her sit down in front of his desk and finished off marking some test papers before talking to her.

"I know; I haven't done my homework," Santana interrupted him, "Sorry."

"No, it's not about that," he said, "Although I will probably ask you about that later." She nodded. "Miss Pillsbury came and had a word with me and we all know you haven't been acting yourself lately."

"Get to the point," Santana snapped, her arms folded across the desk.

"We're just worried about you and the truth is, we...we don't think you're very well." Santana didn't answer him, "Like mentally, alright?" silence, "Santana, talk to me for goodness sake. Come on. You don't have to go to the doctor's right away, she just said about maybe having me keep an eye on you because we don't want any more kicking off do we?"

"You're talking to me like I'm five," Santana scowled and leant back against her chair, arms crossed. "And besides, there's nothing wrong with me anyway."

"Santana, do you..." he paused, trying to work out how to phrase this question, "Do you see or hear things that other people don't?" Santana shook her head, "Really? You don't see people or hear weird noises or anything." She shook her head again. "Then why do you have these mood swings then?"

"I...I have this friend," Santana confessed in a really quiet voice, "Called Snix and she...she just tells me to do things. I do them but then I...I can never remember them afterwards, it's weird and as...as if I've been in a coma or something."

"Does Snix go to this school?" he asked her.

"I honestly don't know," she shrugged.

"Do you think she's a real person?" Santana nodded. She knew she was a real person, she often stuck by Santana's side but the funny thing was...Brittany had never mentioned her and Snix had been with her and Brittany a number of times. Mr Schue was silent as Santana fidgeted in her seat, "Do you want to do something for me?"

"Depends what it is," she said, biting at her nails. He opened the blue folder and had a quick look through the worksheets that Miss Pillsbury kept in there, "Not another one," Santana whined but he ignored her and found a new one for her to try. "Can't I just go?"

"Not yet," he looked through his drawer and handed her a pen. She just wrote her name at the top and began filling it out in silence, chewing on the end of the pen every so often. "Have you finished?" he asked when she stopped writing. She nodded, "You can go now; I'll speak to you later." She smiled and picked up her bag before leaving the room.

Mr Schue took one look at the worksheet and made his way to Miss Pillsbury's office. The worksheet was just basic ticking of boxes about what symptoms she had or what emotions she felt. Anger was one of the boxes she'd ticked which he understood but the rest was a little worrying.

"She did this," he whispered and handed the sheet to Miss Pillsbury.

"Anger?" Miss Pillsbury sighed, "That's the only one she ticked?" Mr Schue nodded. "Oh well; did you speak to her?"

"Yeah, didn't get much out of her but she did talk. I'll explain it all to you later, I'm going to go and let the English teacher know and see if she can be kept an eye on during English." Miss Pillsbury nodded as he left the office, blowing her a kiss on the way out.

**Well the moment you've all been waiting for, Snix finally gets mentioned! There will be more about her later on and yes Mr Schue and Miss Pillsbury are dating. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. **


	6. Introducing Sasha

**Boris Yeltsin: Yep.**

**Sgiambra22: I hope she does too. **

**BrittSnixx: Yeah it is! Haha, welcome.**

**GleekBrat: Glad you're starting to understand it again :)**

**This chapter is a little confusing and note that the rating is changed to M because of the contents of this chapter. **

Santana stood in the centre of Brittany's bedroom, looking into her mirror and re-applying her make-up. Brittany was downstairs in the kitchen getting drinks and pizza whilst Linda had taken Brittany's eight year old sister Kimberly to their aunt's house. Brittany and Santana had had their girls night planned for a while so Brittany decided not to go with them. Santana sighed deeply and placed her lipstick back into her bag, rubbing her lips together and smiling proudly in the mirror.

"_Santana," she said randomly. _

Santana sighed again and rolled her eyes before speaking but this time in a complete different tone.

"_What do you want Snix? You got me into so much trouble today." _

"_It's your own fault; I brought my friend Sasha over. She wants to have sex with you."_

Santana scoffed and zipped her bag up before sitting down on the edge of Brittany's bed. Brittany was her girlfriend so having sex with this Sasha girl was like cheating on her, almost. Snix was her best friend though and Sasha seemed nice so she had no choice but to nod.

"_Sure," Santana smiled. _

Santana stood up and wrapped her arms round Sasha before falling back onto Brittany's bed, laughing. Sasha removed her t-shirt and kissed Santana all over her neck, causing her to giggle some more. The door swung open and Brittany walked in, seeing Santana on the bed with her shirt _and _her pants off. She immediately dropped what she was holding and Santana looked up and over at her in shock.

"Brittany, it...it isn't what it looks like," Santana told her straight away, stepping away from Sasha. "I...I wouldn't cheat on you; I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!" Santana was in tears now so Brittany sat down on the bed and wrapped her long arms round her girlfriend, hugging her and rubbing small circles up and down her back.

"Sorry I freaked San," Brittany whispered, "I just didn't expect to come upstairs to see my girlfriend touching herself."

"I wasn't," she sniffed and wiped her eyes, "I...I was having sex."

"By yourself?" Brittany looked confused as she pushed a lock of blonde hair behind her own ear.

"No, with Sasha," Santana practically yelled, "Didn't you see me?" Brittany was silent and just took Santana's shirt and slipped it back over her head before helping her with her pants. She saw the mess of lemonade and pizza toppings over by the door and got up to go and clean it up.

"Stay here," Brittany ordered Santana. The Latina nodded as Brittany headed off to grab a mop as well as a dustpan and brush to try and clear it all up. Some of the pizza was okay so Brittany just placed a couple of slices on a plate and got some new drinks. Santana was still on the bed but had now curled up in a ball and was facing the door. Brittany sat down next to her and offered her a drink and a slice of pizza. "You'll feel better after eating something." Santana smiled weakly and mouthed a small thank you. "So, who's Sasha?"

"A friend," Santana whispered. "She's gay too."

"What's she like?" Brittany asked, playing along.

"I don't really know," Santana shrugged her shoulders, "She's a friend of Snix."

"Sweetheart," Brittany stroked Santana's hair. "What's going on with you, eh?" Santana was silent. "Do you want to go to sleep?" Brittany asked, knowing that Santana often felt better after sleeping, "You can sleep in my bed yeah?" Santana nodded and rolled over to face the wall, allowing Brittany to tuck her in gently.

* * *

Brittany made her way through the school corridors the next morning, looking for Mr Schue's office. Even though she'd been at the school for a number of years, she still got lost and confused sometimes. She soon found the office and knocked lightly, waiting until the teacher called her in. She walked inside to see him tidying his desk and sorting out some test papers and folders. Santana was also in there.

"Hello Brittany," he smiled, "Santana's just helping me with some tidying up. Is there something I can do for you?"

"No, I...I just wanted to ask you if you'd seen Santana but I found her now so it's good."

"I won't be in Science class," Santana told her, "You'll have to work with either Finn or Quinn." Brittany looked disappointed but nodded anyway.

"Sure," she whispered, "Why won't you be in science?"

"Have to help Mr Schue with some things," Santana told her quietly. She looked pretty annoyed and upset but Brittany didn't want to ask her what was wrong, here in front of Mr Schue. "I'll see you later," Santana promised her and Brittany nodded before leaving the office. "Is that tidy enough?" Santana asked Mr Schue.

"Yeah, I think that'll do," Mr Schue said, "Is everything okay? You're quiet today." Santana nodded faintly, "I'm here if you need a chat yeah?" She nodded again and sat down in a chair as he continued to sort through his test papers, "What did I get?" Santana asked, "What grade?"

"I was a little surprised at your grade," he said and showed it to her. Santana took it in shock.

"D?" she asked, scowling at him, "I got a stupid D! I always get A's in Spanish." He nodded and went to take the test back, "Don't bother," she said and ripped it up, right down the middle before throwing the pieces of paper to the floor.

"Santana!" he yelled, "Pick those up," she refused. "Now!" She picked them up and threw them on the desk, "Go on; get to class." She grabbed her bag and stormed out of the office, the door slamming on her way. The corridors were full of students so she stormed down and just screamed, throwing her bag against a locker and whamming a student into it. The student yelled out in pain and got up, running away from the angry Latina.

"Santana!" The science teacher, Mrs Harrison came walking towards her. She grabbed hold of her arms but Santana screamed and tried to lunge at more students, "Santana! Santana stop it!" she yelled. She didn't actually know what to do when Santana got like this, she'd failed miserably in the middle of class and just sent her to the principal's office but that was hopeless at this moment in time. "Santana!" Santana screamed again and kicked her but she held on tight to her arms. "Stop it right now!" It wasn't long before Santana began behaving childish again and Mrs Harrison had to get the crowded students back to their classes.

"Ur!" Santana screamed as she lay on the floor, attempting to kick her science teacher. Santana screamed. Mrs Harrison had no idea what to do. She was going to go and get one of the other teachers to help her out but Santana was refusing to get up from the floor and she knew that she couldn't leave her alone. "OFF!"

"No!" Mrs Harrison yelled at her. "Don't you dare hit me!" Santana ignored her and hit her anyway, "I said no!"

Mr Schue stormed out of his office then, overhearing the noise. He stormed over and grabbed Santana by the arms, standing her up and sitting her down on the floor firmly. Mrs Harrison watched as Santana kept screaming, tears now forming in her eyes.

"No, sit on the floor!" he yelled angrily, "On the floor!" Santana hit him, "Don't hit me! Sit on the floor and calm down!" Santana punched him, "Stop!" he grabbed her arms, "Stop it!"

"Hurting!" Santana screamed in tears, "You're hurting me! Go away!"

"Sorry, I have to," he said in a bit of a calmer voice. "Do you want to come and lie down?" she shook her head and tried to hit Mrs Harrison, "What have I told you about hitting? Apologise now!" she shook her head, "Right, get up and come with me!" he grabbed hold of her and stood her up, "This way; you can calm down in the teacher's lounge!" Santana struggled but allowed herself to be dragged towards the lounge anyway.


	7. The Suspension

**Boris Yeltsin: Yeah.**

**GleekBrat: I know right? So unlike Santana! **

**xSantanaAndBrittanyAreMyLifex: That's okay; they're amazing. Yes, I'll be updating my other stories soon. Don't worry. **

**Adorkabledevil: Not heard of that but sounds good and you'll find out soon :)**

"I saw her," Santana whispered softly under her breath as she lay on the couch of the teacher's lounge. Mr Schue was sat beside her with a cup of water in case she needed a drink. The rest of the lounge was completely deserted but he'd made sure of it when he brought Santana in. He knew how dangerous she could be when she got like that and he didn't want her hitting any more teachers. "Snix, I mean."

"What does Snix look like?" he asked her, staying as calm as possible.

"She's the same height as me and she has dark black hair always tied up in two pigtails," Santana described. "She dresses all in black. She has this friend called Sasha but apart from that, Snix only talks to me."

"Does anyone else see Snix?" Mr Schue asked.

"Well, she's usually around when I'm with Brittany but for some reason Brittany never mentions her," Santana said, "It's as if Brittany can't see her but I...I can. I don't understand and I have a really bad headache." He handed her the glass of water. "Thank you." She whispered and took a small sip of it.

"Does Snix make you do all these things?" he asked Santana.

"No, she...she does them herself," Santana whispered, "I try to stop her; honestly."

"But Santana, you are the person who does these things," Mr Schue pointed out to her, "We all see you. These bad moods and acting out is all you." Santana shook her head, "It's no one else at all." Santana was just silent as she handed the water back to him. "Maybe you should take a break for two weeks."

"So, you are suspending me?" Santana scowled.

"No," he shook his head, "Just letting you have a two week break from school. It might help and I'll let your mom know about it all so she can keep an eye on you. Then when you come back, you'd have hopefully calmed down a bit and we can talk about what we're going to do."

"I don't need to take a two week break," Santana mumbled, "I'm fine!"

"I think you do need a break; come on," he placed the cup of water down onto the table and took hold of her arm. She screamed at him and yanked her arm away, refusing to get up. "Santana, come on. Up you get; come on." He began joking, not wanting to yell at her and make things worse. "Up, up, up."

"Get off! I don't need a break from school,"

"You'll want one though, eh?" he asked, finally managing to get her up from the couch, "Just don't think of it as a suspension, yeah?" Santana didn't answer him as he led her towards the principal's office. Principal Figgins was in there and he looked hopeful when they walked in. "Santana is going to take a two week break," Mr Schue told the man.

"Ah so you've finally agreed to the idea of suspension then William," Principal Figgins said, "Good; we will see you back here in two weeks then Santana. William, call her mother."

"Will do," Mr Schue said before adding, "By the way; it is not a suspension." Principal Figgins rolled his eyes and sighed as Mr Schue took Santana back out of the office and back to the teacher's lounge to sit and wait whilst he called her mom. "You'll be fine after two weeks."

"My mom is going to go mad at me though," Santana groaned, whacking her head against the back of the couch.

"I'll explain everything to her and yes, she may want to take you to the doctor's to get checked out but that won't be so mad and it might be for the best anyway." Santana just faintly nodded and had another sip of the water that she'd left on the table. "What do you think your mom will do?"

"Nothing but when she's in a bad mood she doesn't talk to me and gets really funny and I don't want her to be in a bad mood over all this; I've always been the perfect daughter and now I...I just feel that I'm not the perfect daughter."

"Your mom will love you no matter what has happened," Mr Schue reassured her, "I promise you."

"Yeah I know," Santana whispered, "But she still won't be very happy."

Mr Schue sat with her in the lounge whilst they waited for her mom to arrive. She filled out another worksheet from the folder, did some reading and some drawing, had another drink and a few cookies and by the time she'd finished everything, Aletta Lopez had arrived to come and pick her up. Santana sat on the couch, pretending to play on her phone as Mr Schue explained everything that had happened to her mom.

"Are you okay honey?" Aletta asked and placed an arm round her daughter.

"Yeah I guess," Santana nodded, "Can we just go home now?"

"I've arranged a doctor's appointment for you for next Saturday," Aletta told her.

"But that's the day of Mr Schue and Miss Pillsbury's wedding," Santana whined, "The glee club was meant to be singing at it."

"Well what time is it?" Mr Schue asked.

"Nine o'clock," Aletta said, "First thing in the morning."

"That's fine Santana; you can come to the wedding straight after your appointment," Mr Schue said and Santana nodded, "Go on; I'll allow you to go now. Rest up okay? I'll see you on the day of the wedding and then hopefully after that, you'll be back at school."

"Yeah," Santana whispered and got up from the couch, "See you." Mr Schue waved her off as she left the lounge, her mom's arm wrapped round her shoulder as they went.


	8. Breakdown

**Boris Yeltsin: I don't think it will either.**

**GleekBrat: I am too and you'll find out soon enough. **

"Mom, I'm bored," Santana complained as she sat on the couch in the living room, flicking through an old girl's magazine. It was literally three days before the wedding and Santana was finding her suspension completely boring and pointless. She'd been doing nothing nonstop for the past couple of days and she actually couldn't wait until Saturday. Sure, she had the doctor's but at least she was able to go to the wedding to see people and enjoy herself. "There is like nothing on TV."

"Why don't you watch a film?" Aletta suggested as she came in from doing the dishes. "Or read a book?" Santana just shook her head, "You need to do something Santana. You can't mope around all day; see if any of your friends are free?"

"They're all at school, aren't they?" Santana pointed out. "Can we go to the mall or something?"

"Sorry sweetie, I'm busy," Aletta apologised to her. "Another time though," she said and went back into the kitchen.

"I hate suspension," Santana groaned and threw her magazine down, "Stupid Snix, hurting people and making me take the fricking blame!" She sighed deeply and folded her arms across her chest as Aletta came back into the room. "What?" she scowled.

"I'm just popping to the store; do you want to come with me?" Santana shook her head, "I'll lock the house up and you have your cell phone so if you need anything then just call." Santana faintly nodded as she walked back out of the room and left the house.

Santana glanced towards the window and slowly got up to close the curtains. She didn't need any weird strangers looking in on her when she was home alone. She grabbed her black jacket from the arm of the couch and quickly raced upstairs to her bedroom. She shut the door behind her and climbed onto her bed to open her window. She could easily climb out and onto the flat bit of roof outside. It was often how she escaped and ran away when she needed to. She slipped her jacket on and climbed out before shutting the window again. Making her way to the edge of the roof, she jumped down and landed straight on her feet.

She was free.

Shoving her hands into her pockets, she made her way through the park and put her hood up. It looked like rain and she didn't really want to get her hair wet. Building up a speed, she began to run fast towards McKinley High School.

* * *

Quinn found Brittany at her locker and decided to ask her if she'd spoken to Santana since her suspension. Unfortunately, Brittany actually hadn't and she was just as worried as Quinn was about her.

"She'll be fine Brittany," Quinn said, "Mr Schue said she'll be at the wedding so we'll see her then, won't we?"

"I guess," Brittany shrugged, "She just hasn't been herself; you know that."

"I do know that," Quinn nodded, "But she has a hospital appointment soon and that will hopefully help her alright?" Brittany nodded, "Seriously, don't worry about her. She wouldn't want you to worry and get upset."

"I'll try," Brittany whispered, "Are you going to class?" Quinn nodded, "I might skip; I just need some time alone."

"Are you sure that that is a good idea?" Quinn questioned. "You could get in really big trouble Brittany."

"I won't," she shook her head; "Most of my teachers think that skipping class might actually improve my grade." Quinn had to smile at that and she gave Brittany a quick, gentle hug before heading off to class.

Brittany sighed and made her way towards the choir room. It was the only place where she could really sit and think about her problems. She was scared for Santana. Santana was her best friend and her girlfriend and it hurt her to think she was in some kind of trouble. She just hoped that whatever was wrong with her wasn't serious.

"Hello Brittany," Mr Schue greeted her when she entered the choir room. "Not in class?"

"I didn't want to go," she said quietly and took a seat in one of the chairs. He waited for a few minutes before going to take the seat next to her. "I'm just worried about Santana; her behaviours really scaring me and..."

"I know it's hard," Mr Schue nodded, "But she'll come back to school and she'll feel better and everything but what she doesn't need is you worrying about her."

"I guess," she sighed, "Thanks Mr Schue; I...I just really needed a chat." The door swung open and Santana stormed in. Brittany stood up with a giant grin on her face but Mr Schue looked in complete shock. Santana raced towards them and he quickly grabbed hold of her. "San, you're back!"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Mr Schue asked, still holding on tight to her. "You have been suspended and you're meant to be at home!"

"You said it wasn't a suspension!" Santana screamed, barely making any sense. Her words were jumbled and she was talking at a very fast speed.

"San, are you alright?" Brittany asked, beginning to feel a little uneasy. She sat back down in her chair and bit her nails nervously. "You shouldn't be here," Brittany said, "Mr Schue's right; you should be at home."

"Mr Schue knows nothing!" Santana yelled at Brittany and tried to get away from the teachers grasp, "Let me go!"

"Santana, where's your mom?" he asked calmly, keeping hold of her arm. "Where's your mom?"

"She went to the store," Santana mumbled, "I stayed at home. It doesn't help me though! I want to come back to school, I've been bored!" Mr Schue was beginning to lose his patience with her now. He sighed and glanced at Brittany who had no idea what to do. "I want to come back to school!"

"Santana, your mom will be worried sick if she gets home and you're not there," Santana shook her head, "Yes!" She reached out and hit him. "Santana, you can either be awkward about this or let me take you home." Santana hit him even harder, "Stop it!" Santana refused.

"Santana never acts like this," Brittany managed.

"Brittany, could you get to class please?" Brittany faintly nodded and left. "Santana, stop it!"

"No!" Santana actually burst into tears then. "I just miss everyone!" she sobbed, "I want to come back to school; I don't want to go to the hospital, I...I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hit you and I'm sorry that I've been misbehaving but it isn't my fault! It's Snix and her stupid friend Sasha; they do these things and then make me take the blame! I...I'm just sorry; I just want to come back to school!" She cried. "I...I hate my life; I just feel so down and miserable all the time. I love going to bed at night because I can just sleep and forget everything, I...I just hate everything and everyone. I just want to die because n...no one will even miss me." Santana rolled up her sleeve to Mr Schue and revealed a bloody cut, "I did that to myself last night with a pair of scissors; I'm just really fed up."

"Why couldn't you have just told anyone this earlier?" he asked as he examined her wrist.

"I...I couldn't," she stuttered, tears in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I...I just want to come back to school."

"Santana, we made you take a break for a good reason now I'll make you a deal yeah?" Santana nodded, "You let me take you home and you continue the rest of your suspension and we won't tell your mom about the cutting and your little outburst okay?"

"O...Okay," Santana sniffled, "Sure."

"And I'll be seeing you at the wedding as well; I hope."

"I have the doctor's that morning,"

"Yeah well that's in the morning," he said, "We'll see you at the wedding though yeah?" she nodded, "Come on then; let's get you home."


	9. Wedding Reception

**GleekBrat: Haha wait and see :)**

**Boris Yeltsin: Yep. **

"I can't believe they have no idea what's wrong with me," Santana sighed deeply as she sat in the passenger seat of her mom's car, scanning over her pot of medication. They were on their way back from the doctor's. She knew that the wedding would have started but Aletta had said that she'd be able to make it back in time for the reception. "That appointment was just a waste of time."

"These things take time love," Aletta smiled, "And it wasn't a waste of time. They managed to put you on some medication for these mood swings, didn't they?" Santana just shrugged her shoulders, "Do you want to change into your dress?"

"I'll do it at the reception," Santana said, "There'll be a bathroom there." Aletta nodded as she continued to drive down the country road. "I'm kind of nervous about going really; everyone will be asking me how the doctor's went."

"Just say you don't want to talk about it," Aletta told her. They found the place and she pulled up outside. "Do you want me to go in with you?" Santana shook her head. She didn't want to look stupid by having her mom go in with her. "Okay, remember what the doctor said though? No alcohol." Santana walked through the entrance and quickly found the bathroom. Locking herself in the cubicle and pulling her dress from a plastic bag, she quickly undressed and changed into it. She couldn't walk in, dressed in a pair of jeans and an old t-shirt. After changing, she hung her bag of old clothes up in the cloakroom and walked into the big hall where the reception was taking place.

The entire hall was extremely busy with lots of people and Santana could feel herself close to having a panic attack. The doors were open, allowing kids to go out and have a run on the grass and dancing was taking place in the middle of the floor. She caught a glimpse of Quinn and the other glee girls sitting on a back table but she couldn't bring herself to move. It just seemed so crowded, causing her to become panicky.

"Santana!" Quinn screamed when she saw her and she came racing over to hug the Latina, "Hey; you made it! What the hell are you doing over here on your own?"

"It's too crowded," Santana whispered as Quinn squeezed her tightly, "I can't breathe."

"Come and sit with me," Quinn placed an arm round Santana and led her over to their table, "Move over Rach," Quinn told her. Rachel moved and Quinn sat Santana down in the chair before sitting next to her. "Do you want a drink?"

"Just an orange juice please," Santana said as Brittany reached across and hugged her, "Hey; what was that for?"

"Just glad you could come," Brittany smiled as Quinn poured her an orange juice, "Don't you want any champagne? It's a special occasion."

"I'm not allowed it," Santana shrugged, "The doctor said no because it could trigger my mood swings; sucks, I know." Brittany smiled and rubbed small circles up and down her back, "Thanks Quinn," Santana thanked her and took a sip of her orange juice.

"Have you seen Mr Schue yet?" Quinn asked and she shook her head, "The wedding went really well; shame you could miss it."

"At least you're here for the reception," Rachel put in and Santana nodded in agreement, placing her glass of orange juice down in front of her. "How was the doctor's?" Santana just shrugged her shoulders and had another small sip.

"You don't have to talk about it," Brittany comforted.

"They just put me on medication," Santana sniffled, "To help my mood swings but that's about it; they couldn't diagnose me with anything and they just said to see them in six months time unless something happens, then they said to go in straight away."

"Well that sounds okay," Quinn said, "The medication should help you hopefully."

"Yeah," Santana whispered and nodded. She felt someone nudge her arm and looked up to see Mr Schue standing there, "Hey," she whispered as he hugged her. "Congratulations," she congratulated him, suddenly remembering that she wasn't there for the wedding.

"Thank you," he smiled, "How are you?"

"Fine," she nodded. "Doctor's went okay and I'll be back at school soon."

"Good," he gave her another hug. "Are you going to do some dancing?" she shook her head, "You should do. Rachel, you're up to sing." Rachel beamed and flicked her hair before having a quick drink and heading up to the stage. "Fancy doing a solo?"

"No thank you," Santana said, "Sorry I'm just not in the greatest mood."

"Do a duet with me," Brittany said; trying to cheer her up, "Please." Santana hesitated but couldn't resist her face so nodded, "Yay; we can sing Dancing Queen." Santana actually hated ABBA but Brittany loved the song so she agreed to it.

"Okay," Mr Schue chuckled, "You two are up after Rachel; get yourselves ready." Brittany nodded and gave Santana's hand a squeeze.

"Thanks," Santana mouthed a small thank you and leaned across to kiss her girlfriend.

**Hope you liked that chapter. Review please. **


	10. First Day Back

**Boris Yeltsin: Hopefully.**

**Sad: Hopefully you can read more chapters now.**

**GleekBrat: Yeah, glad you liked it.**

Santana sat behind the bike sheds at school lighting up a cigarette. It was her first day back after her suspension and she was finding it incredibly hard to walk into school. She knew that when she did, Mr Schue would pull her aside for a chat and everyone else would just be asking if she was okay the whole time. She didn't want the fuss. Brittany soon came over and sat down on the muddy ground next to her.

"God that stinks," she coughed and clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Sorry," Santana apologised and put her cigarette out, "I just really needed a break." She hugged her knees to her chest and rested her chin on them, "I can't go inside; I...I'm almost scared to. Mr Schue will want a chat and Miss Pillsbury will probably be there."

"I doubt it," Brittany smiled; trying to comfort her girlfriend by rubbing small circles up and down her arm, "Mr Schue talked to you at the wedding."

"Yeah but everyone was there," Santana shrugged her shoulders, "And he only asked if I was okay. This time he'll probably talk to me in private and want to get me counselling or some kind of special help or something. He'll probably even get me to fill out another stupid worksheet."

"What are they even for anyway?" Brittany asked.

"I have no idea," she whispered, "I don't want to go inside. I thought that I wanted to come back but now I...now I'm not too sure." Brittany stood up and grabbed hold of Santana's arm, pulling her up. "No Brittany; I'm not going in!"

"Yes you are,"

"Tough; you can't carry me," Santana said, "You tried before and you failed." Santana smirked, knowing that Brittany couldn't lift her. Brittany was strong from the dancing but Santana was even stronger. Finn and Puck soon appeared and stood behind Brittany, "What are they doing here?"

"I knew you'd be awkward," Brittany said, "So they're here to help me get you inside."

"Puck maybe," Santana almost screamed, "But Finn...no way!" she yelled.

"I've seen you lift her before Brittany," Finn said, "Remember when she fell off the Cheerio's pyramid and you carried her because she'd hurt her leg."

"Yeah but that was when she wasn't being awkward. She actually let me carry her then," Brittany pointed out as Santana struggled to get away from her girlfriend's grasp. "San, just relax. Relax and let either me or one of the guys carry you or you can actually give in and walk inside."

"Santana, you need to go back inside," Finn told her but Santana shook her head, "There's nothing to be scared or embarrassed about. The guys know not to ask how you are and it doesn't matter if Mr Schue wants a chat with you. He isn't going to be angry." Santana still refused so Finn walked over and lifted Santana over his shoulder.

"Put me down!" she screamed, "This isn't funny!" Finn ignored her and carried her into school with Puck and Brittany following, ignoring the sudden stares that they got. "FINN!" Santana screamed and punched him hard on the back. Once inside with the doors closed, Finn put Santana down. "Don't EVER do that again!" Santana threatened as she sorted her hair out. "Look, I really don't want to be here."

"You couldn't wait to come back to school to start with," Brittany took Santana's hand in hers and led her down the corridor to Miss Pillsbury's office. She was sitting at her desk sorting through some papers. "Look who's back," Brittany smiled, holding Santana by the shoulders.

"Good morning Santana," Miss Pillsbury greeted her back, "Good to have you back; did you have a nice two week break?" Santana nodded. "Stay here with Brittany because I think Mr Schue wanted to have a quick word with you." She stood up and left the office, leaving Santana alone with Brittany.

"I told you," Santana mumbled and crossed her arms, "I told you that he'd want to talk to me."

"It'll be okay," Brittany comforted and rubbed her arm, "It's not every day that you get carried into school by Finn huh?"

"Yeah, thanks for that," Santana scoffed sarcastically. The door opened and Mr Schue soon walked in with Miss Pillsbury, "Hey," Santana whispered and raised a hand. Brittany placed an arm round her and rested her head on her shoulder. "So, what do you want to talk to me about?"

"Brittany, could you maybe leave the room for a bit?" Mr Schue asked. Brittany nodded and kissed Santana's cheek before leaving the office. She shut the door behind her and waited outside until Santana was done. "Remember what you told me in the choir room? The scars on your arm?" Santana hesitated but faintly nodded, "We need to sort that out, don't we?"

"You said that you wouldn't tell my mom," Santana reminded him.

"And I won't but I think that you should maybe get a little bit of counselling at school for it. You still get the mood swings, even on that medication because I heard you screaming earlier on." Santana bit her lip nervously. "We can have a look on your timetable and see what suits you best yeah? What class do you have second period on a Tuesday?"

"Gym," Santana whispered.

"Fancy missing that?" Mr Schue asked her, "It's not really important, is it? You can do some work with me instead, another worksheet maybe?"

"Can I ask you a question?" he nodded, "What are those stupid worksheets for?"

"We use them for people with low self esteem Santana," Miss Pillsbury told her, "We think that might be an issue with you. It just helps students think about why their self esteem is low and why they get depressed; you'll soon get used to them."

"I guess missing gym will be okay," Santana sighed. "I never do anything in it anyway. Brittany and I just sit on one of the benches talking."

"Great, so we'll do some work second period on Tuesday," Mr Schue told her, "And we'll sort out the rest of your timetable tomorrow, okay?" Santana nodded, "What class do you have next?"

"Science," Santana said. Mr Schue remembered the last time that Santana had had Science. She threw an experiment over Finn and then kicked and hit the teacher; he couldn't have that happening again. He didn't have a class either.

"Right," he nodded, "You can come and sit with me; I'll write a note to your teacher." Santana nodded and thanked him quietly.

**Well, Santana is finally getting the help she needs. Hope you liked the chapter. **


	11. Slightly Autistic

**Boris Yeltsin: Yeah at last.**

**GleekBrat: Hey, I don't even know what she has yet, lol. That's how random the story is.**

_Santana's timetable_

_**Monday **__**  
**_

_9-10: English  
10-11: English  
__11-12: History  
__12-1: Lunch*  
__1-2: Free Period  
__2-3: Free Period  
__3-4: Glee Club_

_**Tuesday**  
_

_9-10: Art_  
_10-11: Gym*_  
_11-12: Free Period*_  
_12-1: Lunch_  
_1-2: Spanish_  
_2-3: English_  
_3-4: Glee Club_

_**Wednesday**  
_

_9-10: Math_  
_10-11: Math*_  
_11-12: English_  
_12-1: Glee Club_  
_1-2: Art_  
_2-3: Art_

**_Thursday _**

_9-10: Gym*_  
_10-11: Spanish_  
_11-12: Science_  
_12-1: Lunch_  
_1-2: Math_  
_2-3: Cheerio's Practice _

_**Friday**_

_9-10: History_  
_10-11: English_  
_11-12: Math_  
_12-1: Lunch*_  
_1-2: Science_  
_2-3: Science_  
_3-4: Glee Club_

Mr Schue took one more quick look over Santana's timetable. He'd been working on it most of the week and the classes with a small, black star next to them were the ones that she was spending talking to either Miss Pillsbury or himself. Today was Wednesday and the time was five past ten so it was time to collect Santana from math class. He tucked her timetable into a red wallet and got up from his desk. He left the office and shut the door behind him before making his way to the math classroom. Mr Jones was just writing some notes down on the board.

"Morning Will," Mr Jones smiled politely at the Spanish teacher.

"Morning, is Santana here?" Mr Schue asked and Mr Jones nodded at him, gesturing to the back of the room where she was sat with Quinn. "Santana!" Mr Schue called over and she looked up, "Come with me please." She nodded and began packing away her things before following him out the room.

"So, are we going to the teachers lounge?" Santana asked.

"My office today," Mr Schue told her and opened the door for her. She bit her lip nervously and walked inside, him following.

"But we always go to the teachers lounge," she stated, putting emphasis and quite a bit as well on the word always.

"Not today," he shook his head and sat her down before taking his own seat. "So how have you been?"

"Fine," she shrugged and fidgeted in her seat whilst looking round the office.

"Santana, is there a problem with the office?" he asked.

"We just always go to the lounge," she whispered quietly. "That's all."

"Santana, do you like routine?" she shrugged. "I just wondered because you sounded funny when I suggested these sessions to you and now you're funny with this. It happened before when I even moved a glee club rehearsal once."

"I just don't like change," she confessed, "Makes me a bit panicky."

"There's no need to panic Santana. I've been looking through your timetable and on the Monday you will have a session during lunch. Tuesday's sessions will be during gym and free period. Wednesday will be math. Thursday is gym and Friday is lunch. Sound okay?"

"Sure," she nodded faintly, "I guess."

"Are you sure you're okay Santana? You're very quiet."

"It's just um...can we go to the teachers lounge?" he rolled his eyes but gave in and decided to take her there. It was busy but luckily the red couch was free and she raced over to sit down.

"What's she doing in here?" Miss Pillsbury asked as she but into an apple.

"She didn't like the office," Mr Schue told her. "I'll just sit with her in here for ten minutes and if it's still sunny, I'll take her outside."

"She's dangerous Will."

"No she isn't Emma. She just needs people who she can talk to if she needs to, someone to take her mind off this Snix character."

"Has she spoken about Snix then?"

"Not for a while," he said.

"So why didn't she like the office?" Miss Pillsbury asked.

"She just kept saying how we always sit in here," he chuckled, "Little autistic if you ask me," he added and headed over to Santana who was sitting on the couch, almost asleep. "Tired?" he asked.

"A bit," she sighed as he sat next to her, "Hardly slept last night. I had a nightmare and when I told mom, she just told me to stop being silly. I was crying, she said it was childish of me to cry at a nightmare."

"What was it about?"

"I don't want to talk about it." she mumbled. "It's much better in here than the office."

"It's busy though," he pointed out to her, "The office was quieter and better for our chat."

"I don't care, I like it in here."

"Would you like a drink? Something to eat?" he offered.

"Nothing to eat," she shook her head, "But do you have hot chocolate?" he nodded and went to make her one, "Thanks, so what are we going to talk about?"

"Just about how you've been getting in really," he smiled. "How do you think you've been getting on?"

"Good, the medications helping me a little bit."

"Have you been taking that?" she nodded. "Promise me?"

"Yeah." she sighed and hesitated before adding. "I promise."

**Hope you liked this chapter. It took me ages to think up Santanas timetable. **


	12. Panic Attack Worksheet

**Boris Yeltsin: Yeah.**

**Cooookiemonster: I don't know, I don't live in America but it's just the usual school time so I figured lol. **

**JustADutchGirl: Thanks and yeah, I'll have a go.**

**BrittSnixx: Haha I know right? I hate Maths! I used to have double Science which was just horrible. **

**Heya-Brittana-Gleek: Thank you. **

**Melody73211: Thanks. I haven't read many stories with Snix so I thought I'd try one. **

**Guest: That was the funny thing about it, it isn't much different but Santana preferred it there anyway. **

"So, how's the counselling going?" Brittany asked as she walked down the corridor with Santana. It was Thursday and their first class was Gym. Even though Santana was meant to be going to Mr Schue's office for an appointment, she'd changed into her gym clothes and was walking into the gym with her girlfriend. "You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to though."

"Nah, its going okay," Santana shrugged. She had decided not to tell Brittany that she actually had an appointment during gym because she would make her go. "I don't have one today," she lied.

"Hey girls!" Finn walked up with a ball in his hand, "Fancy a game of Dodgeball?"

"Oh you are on," Santana smirked and threw her bag down before grabbing the ball from Finn and running over to the rest of the glee club. Quinn grabbed her arm and pulled her away, "Whoa Q, what is the matter?"

"Don't you have an appointment with Mr Schue, like now?"

"Nope," Santana answered as Finn and Brittany came over. The whistle blew so Quinn left it and they began their game of Dodgeball. "Take this Finn," Santana screamed and chucked a ball at Finn. He managed to jump and avoid getting hit. "Not too shabby," she told him and threw another ball at him. The doors soon swung open and Mr Schue came in.

"Santana Lopez!" he yelled and she dropped the ball in sudden shock, spinning round to face him. "Get here now please!" She kicked the ball and stormed over to him, making her way through the doors with him behind, "I thought you hated gym."

"I hate your sessions more," she mumbled and folded her arms across her chest. "They don't do anything apart from make me feel stupid and crap about myself! They just make me feel useless!"

"Can you quieten your voice please?" he asked calmly. "You don't need to feel useless; everyone has had counselling once in a while. I got it when I was a kid, Miss Pillsbury has been for her OCD, Brittany has been to see Miss Pillsbury before, Quinn went when she was pregnant and even Rachel has been quite a few times." Santana nodded faintly. "Just come to the teacher's lounge and we can do another worksheet yeah?" She gave in and followed him to the teacher's lounge. She sat down on the red couch and he sat next to me with the folder, placing a new sheet in front of her. It was about panic attacks. "You told me that you get panicky, right?" she nodded, "When was the last time you got panicky?"

"I...I was out at the mall with Brittany and Quinn once," Santana whispered, "And I had a panic attack; they had to take me outside. It was just too crowded."

"Okay, I want you to fill this sheet out for me then." Santana nodded and began to fill the sheet out. She was soon finished. "Let me have a look." He said and peered over her shoulder to have a quick look.

Panic Attacks 

**Situation: What do you think triggered the panic attack? What happened? Who with? Where? When? What were you doing? – **_I was at the mall with friends a couple of months ago and we were shopping. I had a panic attack because there were too many people and I felt trapped; they had to take me outside. _

**Physical Symptoms: Underline or circle the most frightening feeling. What did you feel in your body? Where did you feel it? E.G. Heart, palpitations, chest pain, breathless, choking, nausea, dizziness, hot, sweating, shaking. – **_I began feeling really hot and dizzy. My chest was hurting and I felt like I couldn't breathe, Quinn said I was shaking and shivering and Brittany said I was sweating so tried to cool me down. I felt close to passing out. _

**Emotion/s: What was the emotion? Rate Intensity of emotion (0-100%). Describe the emotion in one word (fear, panic, anxiety, terror, etc) – **_Anxiety (95%) _

**Unhelpful Thoughts or Images: Write most unhelpful or distressing thoughts or images. How much do you believe that thought? 0-100%. What was the worst that you thought might happen? What would be the worst thing about that? - **_ I thought I might pass out. I thought that if that happened, I wouldn't have remembered anything when I woke up. 88%. _

**Response to Thought: What would be a rational and more balanced perspective? How much do you believe this different perspective? 0-100%. Fact or opinion? Is there another way of looking at it? What would someone else make of this? Is my reaction in proportion? Is the problem that something terrible is going to happen? – **_Don't understand the question. _

**Outcome: What did you do? What was helpful? Describe emotion in one word. Re-rate intensity of emotion, 0-100%. What are the consequences of acting this way? What will help most? What would be the best thing to do for me and for this situation? – **_The consequences of me acting this way would probably be worrying friends and family and my mom might be very concerned and a little angry at the same time. Talking to someone would probably help most or listening to music which usually calms me down. The best things for me to do are talk to someone or go and see a doctor which is what my mom suggested. _

"That's good," Mr Schue said as he read it over whilst running a hand through his hair, "Well done. We won't worry about the fifth question then because you seem to have understood the rest and answered them well so well done."

"Is that really okay?" Santana asked quietly.

"Yeah, why wouldn't it be?" he questioned and she shrugged her shoulders. "Santana, that is fine okay? Have you had a panic attack in a while?" she shook her head, "What do you mean by your mom might be a little angry?"

"She just might be," she whispered, "She thinks I'm being silly if I panic or something; she says its attention seeking."

"Don't listen to her," he nudged her arm, "Do you want to do another one?" she shook her head. "What do you want to do then? We have quite a bit of time left until next class."

"I'd rather just sit here," she admitted, "If you don't mind."

"Yeah that's fine," he nodded, "Are you going to be okay?" she nodded at him, "Alright; I just need to go and have a quick chat with Miss Pillsbury but I'll be back to check on you in a minute, help yourself to a drink and cookies." Santana thanked him as he took her worksheet and left to head to Miss Pillsbury's office. She was at her desk, sorting through her pamphlets. "I have Santana in the teacher's lounge."

"How's she getting on?" Miss Pillsbury asked.

"I got her to fill this out," he handed her the worksheet. "About panic attacks, she managed it apart from one question."

"Looks good," she nodded, "You're certainly getting through to her."

"I guess," he sighed, "I'm kind of worried about her really."

"We all are Will,"

"I just wish that the doctor's could actually diagnose something."

"They will do," she reassured him, "They will."


	13. The Same Person

**Boris Yeltsin: Thanks.**

**BrittSnixx: Haha that is true yes. Thanks for reviewing. **

_Dear Diary,_

_I don't think I can take it anymore. Everyone seems so worried about me and I hate it; I don't want people worrying about me all the time. I am fine! I know that people don't like me, they just use me for my voice and my dancing and when they want some Spanish translated. Mr Schue had suggested some appointments but he hasn't given any to me yet. I don't like him anyway, I never will. _

_Someone keeps calling to me and I don't know who it is._

_I better go though so will talk as soon as I can._

_Snix xxx_

* * *

"Quinn!" Brittany raced over to Quinn at the school the next morning. In her hand, she held a little, pink notebook with stickers and writing all over the front. Quinn was at her locker at the time but as soon as she saw Brittany, she stopped what she was doing and turned to her. "You need to read this!"

"Why?" Quinn asked and took the notebook from Brittany, "What is it?"

"It's Santana's diary but you should read some of the entries in it, especially the latest one." Quinn just held the diary in her hands, refusing to open it. "What are you waiting for? Read it Quinn!"

"This is her diary, it's personal. What are you even doing with it?" Quinn asked.

"I went to pick her up this morning so my mom could take us both to school. Santana was still getting ready so I decided to flick through, I honestly didn't know that it was her diary but I was shocked when I read it." Quinn sighed and opened it up. "Look at the last page first and then read some others."

"It's signed by Snix," Quinn said in confusion. "Isn't that who Santana keeps talking about? The person who none of us know." Brittany nodded, "Why does Santana sign it with Snix instead of her own name?"

"I don't know," Brittany shrugged, "There are loads more by Snix as well though. Please don't tell her; she doesn't know I've got it."

"I won't; this sounds serious though," Quinn said as she flicked through the diary and scanned the other pages; most of which were signed by the name Snix.

"I'm scared," Brittany managed and looked close to tears. The two girls waited until it was time to go to class but Santana didn't turn up for school, "Maybe she's just late a little bit," Brittany said; trying to think positive.

"I don't know," Quinn whispered and shut the diary, "I'm taking this to Mr Schue; he needs to know about it." Brittany didn't argue back and nodded, allowing Quinn to take the diary to Mr Schue's office. Luckily, Mr Schue was sitting in his office. He took a look at the diary whilst Quinn and Brittany took a seat and waited.

"Okay," he sighed and shut the diary, "I'll look into it. Can you send Santana to my office when you see her?"

"I haven't seen her today," Quinn shook her head and Brittany nodded in agreement, "I don't think she's in school." Mr Schue sighed and took one more look at the diary. "Look; Santana's on medication so why on earth would she act out again?"

"Because," Mr Schue almost yelled and slammed the diary down on the table, "I don't think she IS taking her medication. She told me she is but I think that's a lie."

"Why would Santana lie about that?" Brittany whispered and Quinn and the teacher just shrugged their shoulders. "I know Santana; if she had medication that would help her then she would take it, I know she would."

"Every single entry is signed by this Snix," Mr Schue said. "It doesn't even sound like Santana; it's angrier than usual."

"Wait," Brittany got up from her seat and went to take the diary from Mr Schue's desk. He and Quinn waited as Brittany flicked through the diary and read every single page. "This isn't Santana's writing. I sit next to her in every class, apart from Math but I know what her writing looks like and this isn't hers."

"Are you sure?" Quinn questioned her. She knew that Brittany wasn't the smartest of people.

"I'm sure," Brittany nodded and showed it to Quinn, "It isn't Santana's writing."

"But no one else knows about Snix," Quinn told her, "No one would do this to play a joke on her or anything as no one knew who Snix was."

"Well it is definitely not Santana's handwriting," Brittany snatched the diary from Quinn and threw it down onto the desk again before folding her arms crossly. "I know my girlfriend." She promised them both.

"First Snix," Mr Schue sighed with his head in his hands, "And Sasha and Santana. Santana has mentioned them all and they all have completely different personalities and somehow Snix is writing in Santana's diary and whenever Santana has a mood swing, she doesn't seem to remember it afterwards."

"I'm scared," Brittany gulped nervously as tears streamed down her cheeks.

"Santana..." Mr Schue whispered.

"And Sasha," Quinn added.

"And Snix," Brittany finished, finding the courage to actually spoke.

"I think," Mr Schue sighed, "They're all the same person."

**Sorry for the really short chapter but at least I ended it with a cliffhanger and included quite a lot of tension in it. Review please and I'll try and make the next chapter longer. I hope you liked it. **


	14. Brittany's Comfort

**Boris Yeltsin: Yep, still more to come.**

**BrittSnixx: I love cliff hangers! I had to put one in. **

**Adorkabledevil: Haha maybe it is, maybe it isn't. We'll have to wait and see, lol.**

"Mom, can I ask you a question?" Santana asked as she walked into the living room. Her mom was sitting on the couch watching some documentary about the twin towers and the death of the people inside. She nodded though and switched it straight off when Santana walked in. "What...What happened to my dad?"

"Santana, why are you bringing this up now?" Aletta sighed. "Your father was not a nice person; we both know that and..."

"I just want to know," Santana said, "Everyone has the right to know about their parents, don't they? Brittany knows that her dad died of cancer just after her little sister was born and Quinn knows that her mom and dad divorced after her dad kicked her out for being pregnant and then had an affair."

"After he..." She was cut off by the doorbell so Santana got up and went to answer it. As she opened the door, Quinn and Brittany shoved past and in Quinn's hand, she held a very familiar pink notebook.

"Where did you get that?" Santana screamed and snatched the book, "This is mine!"

"Brittany gave it to me," Quinn smirked, "Is there a place where we can talk, in private?" Santana nodded and headed upstairs with her friends following. They went into Santana's bedroom and shut the door behind her. "Don't flip okay?" Quinn asked and held her hands up defensively, "But we...we read the diary?"

"You read my diary!" Santana yelled and shoved Quinn hard in the chest. Quinn just held Santana's wrists and sat her down on the bed, "That was private!"

"Listen to me," Quinn knelt down on the floor in front of the Latina, "The first couple of entries were all about your dad and they had your name at the bottom." Santana faintly nodded. She couldn't believe that Quinn had read her diary, she was meant to be her best friend. "They were all about your dad's drinking problem and how when you were seven he...he...he raped you," Quinn whispered.

"Shut up!" Santana screamed but Quinn ignored her.

"Then the rest of the entries are all signed by this stupid Snix person!" Quinn yelled. Brittany was hovered in the doorway with her arms crossed, looking really uncomfortable and close to tears. "I know your dad was horrible Santana but I didn't know that he'd raped you."

"Just leave me alone, please," Santana shook her head and began rocking back and forth on the bed, "It hurts! Please, just leave me alone!" Quinn sighed and opened up the diary to show Santana an entry from Snix, "I didn't write that!" Santana yelled, "It isn't even my writing; I promise you Quinn that I didn't write it!"

"Santana, you can get help," Quinn soothed in a comforting tone.

"I don't need it!"

"Quinn, stop it!" It took a while for Quinn to realise that the loud voice had actually come from Brittany. She let go of Santana's wrist, allowing the Latina to get up and run off to the bathroom. Quinn then turned to face Brittany. "You're torturing her; the reason you don't know about her dad is because Santana doesn't feel comfortable talking about it, I didn't even know about it! She's obviously uncomfortable and scared and you're just making things worst!" Brittany shook her head at the blonde and headed off to find her girlfriend. The bathroom door was shut and locked so Brittany guessed that she was in there. "San?"

"Brittany," Aletta Lopez arrived at the top of the stairs, "What are you doing here? Where's Santana? Is everything okay?"

"I'm here with Quinn, Santana's in the bathroom and everything is fine," Brittany answered each question slowly and in order. "You can go back downstairs Mrs Lopez; I'm fine here." The woman hesitated but finally nodded and went back downstairs. "Santana, it's me," Brittany whispered through the closed, bathroom door. "I'm on my own. Can you just please open the door so we can talk? Please." Brittany waited and finally she heard the bolt slide across. She turned the handle and opened the door. She walked in and saw Santana sitting on the closed toilet seat so she shut the door behind her and locked it so neither Quinn nor Mrs Lopez could burst in. "Are you okay?" Brittany asked, knowing that it was a bit of a stupid question.

"Do I look okay?" Santana whispered and Brittany sat on the edge of the bath. She then reached across and gave Santana's hand a gentle squeeze, "I...I feel terrible. My dad hurt me and I...My best friends read my diary and I swear Brittany that I never wrote that!"

"You're the only one who talks about Snix," Brittany said. "But I...I do know that it wasn't your handwriting. I honestly do not know what to do San; I have tried to help you and I just don't know what to do anymore."

"You don't have to do anything Brittany," Santana told her, "Really."

"I feel like I need to though," Brittany said quietly. "Quinn and I told Mr Schue about the diary," Santana's eyes widened, "And his theory is that...that you, Snix and Sasha are all the same person."

"I'm not following," Santana shrugged her shoulders.

"You're not seeing Snix or Sasha; you are them," Brittany said, "That's why you never remember anything that they do, because you go straight back to being Santana. Like when you have these mood swings, you're Snix."

"That doesn't make any sense," Santana sighed and ran a hand through her messy hair.

"It's hard to explain," Brittany said, "But um...Mr Schue wanted me to give you this," Brittany dug into her pocket and brought out some leaflet, handing it to Santana. "It's not definite but he just wanted your mom or even you to read over it."

Dissociative Identity Disorder?" Santana questioned as she read the front of the leaflet, "What's that?"

"I'm not too sure myself," Brittany said, "I'll just tell you what Mr Schue told me." She bit her lip and tried to remember what the Spanish teacher told her, "Um...it used to be called Multiple Personality Disorder and it's this mental illness thing like where you have more than one personality and it usually occurs like after...after some traumatic event and in that case, it...it's your dad hurting you. He thinks that's what you have, either that or something else like Bipolar or Schizophrenia."

"So, how do you get rid of this...this thing?"

"Medication, therapy," Brittany said, "I don't think that you can actually cure it though; you can treat it but I don't think it actually goes all together."

"When did you get so smart?" Santana asked her.

"This is everything Mr Schue has told me," Brittany said. "It's okay to cry Santana," Brittany sighed and went to sit on the edge of the toilet seat, placing an arm round Santana. She could see that she looked upset and she was often the only one who could comfort her. "Hey," Brittany tucked a lock of Santana's hair behind her ear and looked into her brown eyes whilst holding her closely. "Alright?" she asked. "You know what my mom did to me after my dad died?" Santana was silent, "She tucked me up onto the couch with a blanket and my old teddy bear and she got me a glass of nice warm milk with cookies."

"That's sweet," Santana whispered and managed a small smile. Brittany nodded and rested her chin on the top of Santana's head, "Why'd Quinn have to be so rough with me?"

"She didn't know. I didn't know." Santana just nodded and snuggled up to Brittany closer. The toilet seat of Santana's bathroom wasn't the most romantic place but none of them cared at that moment in time. "Do you fancy some nice warm milk and cookies?" Brittany offered. "Or even just a little cry. I know that you hate crying in front of people San but it sometimes makes you feel better."

"No," Santana sniffed and shook her head, "Quinn's in my room and my...my mom's downstairs."

"I'm here for you San," Brittany kissed her cheek. "Besides, you...you might not even have that Identity Disorder thingie. It's just a possibility."

"I guess," Santana smiled at that, "Thank you Brittany."

"No problem sweetheart," Brittany said and kissed her once again.

**Well, you finally find out what may be wrong with Santana. Thanks for reading and the next chapter should be up soon. **


	15. Attempted Suicide

**Boris Yeltsin: Yeah, hopefully. **

**OTHangels: Thank you :)**

**xSantanaAndBrittanyAreMyLifex: Thanks.**

**Adorkabledevil: Haha you were right.**

**A'sTodayPartiesTomorrow: Thanks, glad you like it. Her mom knows about her outburst at school but has no idea about her illness or anything.**

**BrittSnixx: Thanks and yeah they do.**

**GleekBrat: Hey that's okay. Glad you liked the chapters. **

"Is San at school today?" Quinn asked Brittany the next morning, "I wanted to apologise to her; I didn't mean to yell or read her diary and I...I sort of feel bad, I haven't seen her all morning." Brittany waited until Quinn finished talking before replying.

"I don't know," Brittany shrugged, "And it might take her a while to forgive you Quinn. She has a hard time trusting people and..."

"You read her diary as well!" Quinn snapped, "You read it before I did!"

"Yes but she's more mad at you for yelling and screaming at her like that," Brittany pointed out as her cell phone made a sudden beeping sound. She got it out to see one new voicemail from Santana, "Here's your answer. Santana's left me a voicemail," Brittany said, "I thought my cell was on earlier; I didn't hear it ringing."

"Neither did I," Quinn shook her head. "Was it on silent?"

"Might have been," Brittany whispered as she clicked to listen to the message. "I'll put it on loud speaker." Brittany put it to loud speaker so they could both listen to the message from Santana.

_Britt, it's me. I'd just like to say goodbye. I'd just like to say goodbye. This is the last message that you'll hear from me, I'm sorry. _

Brittany soon dropped her cell phone in shock. Swinging her backpack onto her back, she ran off down the corridor at full speed. Quinn called after her but it was no use; she quickly picked Brittany's cell up from the floor and ran off after her. Brittany was already outside and standing by Quinn's car.

"Drive me to Santana's!" Brittany yelled and gripped Quinn's shoulders hard.

"Britt, I know you're scared," Quinn removed Brittany's hands and handed her cell back, "But we can't just skip school." Brittany sighed and looked close to tears, "But this is an exception; get in the car." She beamed from ear to ear and Quinn unlocked it so Brittany could climb in. "I will drive as fast as I can but I don't want to risk getting a speeding ticket or crashing."

"That's fine," Brittany nodded as Quinn started the engine and drove off. They arrived at Santana's in no time and Brittany rushed up to the front door, finding the spare key under the mat. She knew where Mrs Lopez kept it. Quickly unlocking the door, she ran in and up the stairs, tripping on the way.

"Britt, wait!" Quinn called up the stairs but Brittany just ignored her. She found the bathroom door unlocked and burst in to see Santana clutching at her stomach in pain. She was surrounded by a huge puddle of blood. Brittany quickly grabbed a towel and fell to her knees, pressing it to her girlfriend's stomach. Santana let out a long, blood curling scream. Quinn soon appeared in the doorway and felt like throwing up when she saw it. "Oh god."

"Quinn, help," Brittany begged as she pressed the towel harder to Santana's stomach. Quinn managed a small nod as she rushed to dial 9-1-1. "Sweetheart; it's okay," Brittany soothed and gently stroked Santana's hair, "I'm here, eh? It's going to be okay."

"Is she still bleeding?" Quinn asked whilst on the phone. Brittany nodded. "Yeah," Quinn spoke into the phone, "She is."

"What...What you...you doing here?" Santana gasped, clenching her teeth together to try to cope with the pain.

"I got your message," Brittany whispered, "You didn't expect me to just leave you like this, did you?" Santana nodded, "I'd never do that baby; you know I wouldn't. Just stay with me sweetie, please just stay with me."

"I...I don't think I can,"

"You can," Brittany encouraged calmly, "You can; you're Santana Lopez, you are strong and you are going to be okay."

"I...I love you," Santana managed through her tears, "I love you so much; I'm really sorry."

"I love you too," Brittany kissed her forehead, "But you're going to be fine; I promise." Brittany gently rocked Santana back and forth in her arms like a young child, "Sannie; sweetheart, where's your mom?" Brittany asked in a comforting tone, "Where's your mom? Is she at work?" Santana managed a nod as she gasped, holding Brittany's arm tightly. Quinn was soon off the phone and at Santana's side with another wet towel. "Q...Quinn?" Santana's eyes began closing but she managed to grab hold of Quinn's hand with her free hand.

"Yeah it's me," Quinn whispered and stroked the Latina's hair, "Don't talk sweetie." Santana's tears fell harder, "Ssshh, we're not going anywhere okay? We're going to stay with you until the ambulance arrives, I promise."

"So much blood," Brittany managed through her tears and showed Quinn the towel that she was holding. It was soaked in a horrible sticky, wet liquid.

"Yeah I know," Quinn nodded, "I haven't seen this much blood since I gave birth to Beth. Hang on Santana; you're going to be fine."

"Who...Who's Santana?" Santana sobbed, causing Quinn and Brittany to look up in shock, "I...I'm Snix." Quinn just shook her head and pressed the towel harder to Santana's stomach, "Hurts!" Quinn just stroked her hair and whispered soothing words into Santana's ear to calm her. "Don't leave!"

"We won't," Brittany reassured her, "The ambulance is on its way and we're going to get you to the hospital and you are going to be all okay." Brittany reached out and gave her girlfriend's hand a tight squeeze, kissing her knuckles gently.

"What did you use San?" Quinn asked her, "What did you use to...to make the cut?" Santana looked around but soon pointed to something that was glistening in the corner of the bathroom. "Oh god."

"What?" Brittany asked.

"It's the big knife from the kitchen," Quinn pressed the towel harder to her stomach, "This ambulance better hurry the fuck up!"

The ambulance arrived literally two minutes after Quinn had said that. The two girls begged to travel in the ambulance with their friends which the paramedics allowed. Brittany stayed at Santana's side, kissing her head and praying that she'd be okay whilst Quinn made phone calls, the first person being Santana's mom. She then rang Mr Schue, having his number from her alcohol pledge form.

"Mr Schue," Quinn whispered and bit her lip. Santana let out a small whimper as the ambulance sped up with the siren going.

"It's okay," Brittany soothed her and held her hand tightly.

"On the way to the hospital with Brittany and Santana," Quinn sighed, closing her eyes tightly as she waited for Mr Schue to go into panic mode. "Yeah," she nodded; the phone to her ear. "She tried to kill herself."

**So my story Santanas illness has somehow been deleted. Not sure how, I just went on the site and saw it had been. I am working on a similar story though which should be up soon so if you liked that story then check it out.**


	16. The Diagnosis

**Boris Yeltsin: Yep.**

**Guest: Thank you.**

**Heya-Brittana-Gleek: Sorry, I almost made you cry. This chapter should be happier, hopefully. **

**GleekBrat: Ahh, wait and see :)**

"Get off of me!" Santana screamed as the doctor's pinned her down onto a table in a hospital room, "Get off me!" They'd managed to fix her wound but Santana wasn't allowing anything else. She kicked her legs as two doctors pinned her arms down beside her head. Santana screamed, attempting to get away from their grasp but they held on tightly to her. "Get off of me, please!"

"Santana darling," Aletta Lopez was crying from the corner of the room, "Please; let them help you and calm down."

"My name is not Santana!" she cried.

"That is her name," Aletta told the doctor's. "Honestly; she...she thinks she's someone called Snix."

"Sedate her," one of the doctors said. Santana began screaming even louder after hearing that. She was pinned down and one of the doctors got a needle of a sleeping drug ready. Her sleeve was rolled up and the needle went into her skin.

"Don't let..." Santana began as the drug began to kick in. It soon kicked in and Santana had drifted off to sleep. Aletta had tears streaming down her face as she watched them sedate her daughter. She couldn't believe that this was happening.

"If you'd like to just wait in the waiting room," the doctor suggested. Aletta nodded and headed on into the waiting room to where Quinn and Brittany were waiting. They looked up with hopeful looks on their faces.

"Is she okay?" Quinn whispered whilst Brittany just was unable to speak. She looked as if she'd been crying.

"They've fixed up her wound," Aletta said, "But they've just had to put her asleep. They wanted to test her for any sign of a mental illness and she wouldn't let them near her, she was screaming at them and kicking them."

"Did anything else happen?" Quinn asked, gulping nervously.

"She...She said that her name wasn't Santana," Aletta sighed deeply and sat down opposite the two girls. They looked shocked at that, "She kept calling herself Snix." Brittany's tears began to fall faster and Quinn rubbed at her back and rested her head against her arm. "It'll be okay Brittany," Aletta said.

"You don't know that," Brittany snapped in tears. She got up quickly and raced out of the waiting room and along the corridor to the hospital cafeteria. Quinn glanced at Santana's mom before getting up to go and follow Brittany. She was sitting at a round table in the very corner. "Go away," she mumbled, her fingers in her mouth.

"No, you're upset," Quinn whispered and sat down opposite her. "Please don't be scared Brittany. Santana will be fine; she just needs a little bit of help that's all."

"What will that do?" Brittany cried, "She's been to the doctor, she'd had sessions with Mr Schue, she's been put on medication and she still acts like this. It isn't doing anything for her Quinn, I'm her girlfriend and she's really scaring me."

"And she's scaring me too," Quinn said, reaching across to rub Brittany's arm. "But if the doctors finally find out what's wrong with her then they will get her the help she needs."

"Mr Schuester thinks that she might have that multiple personality disorder thing; I always forget the other name," she sniffed, "But I think he could be right. She's made up this Snix person and she keeps calling herself by the name and acting really odd."

"Do you want a drink?" she shook her head. "We need to go back to Mrs Lopez; you never know, there might be news on Santana now." Brittany managed a smile and she nodded and got up, following Quinn back to the waiting room. There was a surprise though; Mr Schue was waiting there with Aletta. "What are you doing here?" Quinn asked.

"Well you called me to tell me what happened didn't you?" he said, shrugging his shoulders and running a hand through his hair. "Is she okay?" Quinn just shrugged. It was an honest answer, she really didn't know if Santana was okay or not. "They'll find out what's wrong; the doctors here are really good."

"Promise?" Brittany asked. Mr Schue sighed and hesitated, not quite sure what to say but he smiled and nodded at her anyway. He didn't want to scare Brittany anymore than she already was. The door opened and one of the doctors soon walked in. "Yes?"

"Are you all friends or family of Santana Lopez?" Aletta nodded and stood up, "You're her mom?" she nodded once again, "Can we talk with you please?" She looked nervous but followed him into the room where Santana was. She was sitting up in bed, fiddling with the ends of the bed sheets. "We want to talk to you about Santana's past; has anything ever happened? Anything tragic?"

"Well, Santana's dad has been quite an issue in the past," Aletta said, "He had a really big drinking problem and he...he raped Santana when she was only seven years old." The doctor nodded and jotted something down in his notepad.

"Anything else?" he sighed.

"Why are you asking this? It's a little personal," Aletta defended her daughter; noticing how uncomfortable she was beginning to look.

"I just want to know; is there anything else?" Aletta shook her head, "Santana woke up after being knocked out but she couldn't seem to remember anything that had happened but earlier on she said her name wasn't Santana and seemed to be going by this Snix person." Aletta looked scared but nodded, knowing that it was all true. "It's a very serious case Mrs Lopez but it can help. If something traumatic happens to someone then a few years later, they can get this illness called Dissociative Identity Disorder. It used to be known as multiple personality disorder but that has changed now."

"And you think Santana could have this...this thing?"

"Well, we can't be sure," the doctor said, "Some mental illnesses can be very hard to diagnose but judging by Santana's past and the symptoms that she has been experiencing then it is more likely true."

"Well, how can it be cured?" She asked.

"It can't actually be cured," the doctor mentioned to her, "But it can be treated with medication and some therapy."

"I'll do anything," Aletta told the doctor, "I will." The doctor tore a page from his notebook and handed it to her before leaving. Santana looked up at her mother and mouthed a small apology to her, "Don't be sorry," Aletta said to her. "It is not your fault sweetheart."

"I feel like it is," Santana whispered.

"It isn't," Aletta sat down next to her bed and rubbed small circles up and down her arm, "It isn't."

"When will I be allowed out of hospital?" Aletta shrugged, having no idea. "Okay," Santana sighed. "You can go if you like, I don't mind."

"Quinn and Brittany are outside," her mom told her, making her smile.

"Can you send them in?" Santana asked and she nodded, "Mom could...could you maybe pop home and get me some magazines, my MP3 player and phone and maybe my laptop? If I'm going to stay here for quite a while, I could need them."

"Yeah," Aletta smiled and kissed her, "See you later sweetie." Santana nodded and watched her mom leave. She didn't come back in but Quinn and Brittany did, as well as Mr Schue. Santana rolled onto her side, not wanting to face Mr Schue.

"San!" Brittany yelled as she raced over to hug her girlfriend, "Thank god you're okay."

"Your mom told us," Quinn whispered as she sat down, "Are you alright?" Santana nodded with a smile, "I told Mr Schue what happened if you don't mind. He needed to know though, right?"

"I guess," she sighed and looked up at Mr Schue, "Thanks for coming."

"Why did you try to kill yourself?" he whispered.

"I didn't," she managed, "Snix did."

**So sorry that I haven't updated in ages but I hope you liked this chapter. Will try my best to update soon. **


	17. Bake Sale

**Boris Yeltsin: Yep.**

**OTHangels: Thanks. **

"Britt, can you please stop worrying over me?" Santana pleaded her girlfriend as she walked up to her locker and opened the door. Brittany watched her shove some books into her locker and slam it shut, "I am fine! I feel better; I have my medication so nothing bad is going to happen I promise."

"You can't blame me for worrying," Brittany whispered and hung her head, "I care about you and after what..."

"Santana," Mr Schue called as he came walking their way. Santana rolled her eyes and leant back against the lockers, sighing deeply. "How are you this morning?" he questioned, trying to act as if he had no idea about the attempted suicide.

"Fine," she replied quietly with her head hung. "Don't act as if you forgot what happened by the way," Santana said, "I know what I did was stupid but I'm over it okay?"

"Alright," he raised his hands defensively, "But if you want to talk then you know where I am." Santana nodded and put on a smile as he walked away. Once he'd gone, her smile faded.

"Oh come on, he's being nice," Brittany giggled. "He only cares."

"I just hate people worrying about me," Santana told her. "I made one stupid mistake and everyone starts worrying about me all of a sudden. I have to get to class, are you coming?" Brittany shook her head, "Sweetie; you need to get to class."

"I have permission to skip class and use the library," Brittany said and kissed Santana's cheek, "Mrs James let me so I'll see you when your class has finished." Santana nodded and headed off to her next class. Brittany turned and made her way to her locker, taking out a huge tin of cupcakes that she'd kept in there. She then made her way to the library where the librarian Mrs Read was waiting for her. "Hey Mrs Read."

"Hey Brittany; have you got everything?"

"Yeah," Brittany nodded, "I just need help moving a table to sit at." Mrs Read nodded and kindly helped her before leaving her to it. Brittany wrote a small sign that read: CUPCAKES, $5.00 EACH. MONEY GOES TO YOUNG PEOPLE WITH MENTAL ILLNESSES. She wasn't sure how the sale would go but it was worth a try. She set the tin of cupcakes that she and her mom had made the night before on the table and hung the sign on the front of the table before sitting down. As soon as she sat down, she spotted Quinn getting a book out at the desk.

"Brittany?" Quinn questioned, noticing the blonde and coming over to her. "Cupcakes?" Brittany nodded with a smile, "And the money goes to people with mental illnesses. Brittany, what are you doing?"

"I wanted to do something to help San," Brittany said, "I don't know if it'll cheer her up or make her angry but I just wanted to do something. She's my girlfriend and she has recently been diagnosed with that identity disorder thing and there must be many people in the world who have the same thing or at least a similar mental illness right?"

"I guess," Quinn shrugged, "How much have you raised so far?"

"Nothing," Brittany answered, "I've only just set up so I haven't actually sold any yet."

"Can I help?" Quinn offered and Brittany nodded. Quinn smiled and pulled up a chair beside Brittany to try and help her out. She even paid for one of the cupcakes herself. "These are really good," Quinn complimented her as she bit into the cake, "So how's San?"

"She's alright," Brittany answered, "But she's getting fed up of people worrying about her all the time." Some girl soon walked over. "Hey, what can I do for you?" Brittany questioned.

"You're raising money for people with mental illnesses?" she asked and Brittany nodded, "My cousin has anorexia, could I buy one?" Brittany nodded and handed a cupcake to her before taking the money and thanking her.

"Wow Britt, ten dollars in like five minutes," Quinn praised. "You're doing well."

"Yeah but five of that was from you," Brittany laughed. "Do you think five dollars is a bit much?"

"It is really but just leave it and see what happens," Quinn said, "One other person brought one so it might be alright." Other people did buy some, including some of the glee club members wanting to support Santana. Brittany was surprised by how many people knew people with mental illnesses. If people needed change, Quinn helped Brittany out with the math and working out of how much she needed to give them back. "This is getting great," Quinn smiled. "We have like thirty five dollars."

"Really?" Brittany asked in surprise and Quinn nodded, "Wow; I'm so pleased."

"You should be, well done Brittany. Santana is very lucky to have a girlfriend like you." The library door soon opened and Santana walked in. She'd been looking for Brittany everywhere and looked pretty pleased when she saw her with Quinn. "Hey," Quinn smiled, "We're having a bake sale."

"Cool," Santana nodded as Brittany leaned across to kiss her, "How much have you raised?"

"Thirty five dollars," Brittany told her, "And look what the money goes towards," she added; gesturing to the sign at the front of the table. Santana stepped back and read the sign but she didn't say anything. Brittany bit her lip nervously, wondering if she'd upset her but Santana soon pulled out her purse and handed her girlfriend five dollars. "You want one?" Brittany asked.

"Why not?" Santana shrugged and smiled, "It's for a good cause."

"Yay," Brittany hugged her and handed her a pink cupcake, "Your favourite colour; me and my mom made them last night."

"They are really nice," Quinn told Santana, "I'm tempted to buy another."

"Save some for other people," Brittany smiled. Santana broke her cupcake in half and handed Brittany half of it, "What?"

"Well you made them and you haven't even tried one?" Santana questioned and Brittany nodded, "That's not fair, have half of mine." Brittany mouthed a small thank you and took the other half, biting into it. "Wow, they are nice. I'm a good cook."

"You sure are," Santana said and hugged her girlfriend, "Thank you Brittany. I...I know I'm going to be okay if...if you're there to support me so...thank you."

**Sorry I haven't posted an update in ages, hope you liked this bit more of a happy chapter. **


	18. Kicking Off Again

**Boris Yeltsin: Hopefully.**

There was a scream, then a loud bang followed closely by another loud bang. Brittany and Quinn were at their lockers talking at this point. Usually they would run because they knew it'd be Santana but Santana had been perfectly fine lately. She was on her medication and she hadn't had an episode in ages.

"SANTANA!"

Hearing Mr Schue's voice yell her name though made them sprint into action. They ran all the way to the quiet room just in time to witness Mr Schue inside, struggling to stop Santana from trashing the place. She was tipping over tables, throwing things off desks. He dragged her to sit quietly in the book corner but she threw the books off and pushed the book case over.

"Santana, stop it right now!" he scolded, "I mean it! I have had enough! Now, I don't know what has gotten you so upset but..."

Santana screamed loudly and got up to race out of the room. The two blondes felt quite scared so moved aside to let her run out. She bolted down the corridor and Mr Schue went straight after her, Quinn and Brittany following close behind.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Santana screamed as she ran down the corridor past the terribly, terrified students.

"What's going on?" Finn whispered to Rachel, walking over to her.

"Santana's done a runner," Rachel whispered back, "Do you think we should help them?"

"Yeah, you go that way," Finn gestured towards the Library, "I'll go this way. Hopefully we might be able to catch Santana at a dead end or something." Rachel nodded in agreement and walked towards the Library, refusing to run. Finn rolled his eyes but ran in the other direction anyway.

"I am not talking to you!" Santana yelled, speeding up a little. Mr Schue was beginning to get out of breath but he continued to chase her, praying that she wouldn't do anything stupid. "Just leave me alone!" Santana ran all the way past Miss Pillsbury's office. The councillor then came out of her office, upon hearing the commotion.

"Whoa, what's going on Will?" she questioned, stopping the Spanish teacher in his tracks. Brittany and Quinn ran straight past though to try and catch up to the Latina.

"Santana kicked off," Mr Schue told her, out of breath. "And she's done a runner now and none of us...none of us can catch her."

"Do you need any help?"

"No," he shook his head, "I think we've pretty much handled it." He kept running. Miss Pillsbury ignored his advice and ran after him to try and help out Santana. After what happened, everyone worried about Santana and everyone knew what she got like when she was upset. Finn had caught Santana from the end of the corridor. Quinn was leaning back against the wall, dripping with sweat whilst clutching the sides of her stomach and Brittany was huddled on the floor in tears. Other students had gathered round to witness what was going on.

"GET OFF ME HUDSON!" Santana screamed, kicking her legs about as Finn held tightly to her with his arms wrapped round her waist.

"Everyone get to class!" Mr Schue yelled at the students but no one moved, "NOW!" he yelled and everyone, including Rachel headed off to their own classes. "Finn, let go of her."

"I don't think that's such a good idea," Finn shook his head, "She'll just go again. Do you not realise how hard it was to get hold of her in the first place?" he panted hard as Santana kept struggling.

"Trust me," the teacher said, Miss Pillsbury watching him as she stood at his side. "Let go of her." Finn nodded and slowly released his grip on the Latina. Santana sprinted again but Mr Schue stopped her. "Let's go and have a chat," he said calmly, rubbing small circles up and down her back. She whimpered and stamped her foot whilst shaking her head. "Come on, you've talked to me before."

"I don't wanna talk!" she cried, tears streaming down her face.

"Listen, you should know by now that Snix is not a real person." He told her and knelt on the floor beside her.

"It isn't Snix!" She yelled, "I saw things! These shadows! They told me to...Just leave me the fuck alone!" Mr Schue shook his head. Quinn came up to try and talk some sense into her but it made Santana worst, "Go away Q! I hate you! I wish you were dead!" Santana lunged at her but Mr Schue grabbed hold of her arms. "Fuck off!" she cried.

"Did the doctor's even say it was multiple personality disorder?" Miss Pillsbury questioned. Brittany nodded but Quinn shook her head at her.

"No," Quinn replied, "They said it might be. There's been a list of mental illnesses in Santana's family so we don't know." They all looked shocked at Quinn, "Her aunty has bipolar disorder and I think her aunt's mom had it as well."

"And you didn't tell us this before?" Mr Schue asked.

"Why don't you take her to the quiet room?" Quinn suggested quietly, attempting to avoid the topic.

"No way," Mr Schue scoffed, "That's what made her kick off in the first place." Brittany got up from her corner to try her hand with Santana. Santana kept whimpering though and trying to run again.

"Santana, please," Brittany pleaded in the little girl voice with the puppy dog stare that Santana could never resist. "Baby look at me," Brittany whispered, "Look at me." Santana looked. "I...I thought you were getting better."

"I am better!" Santana yelled. Brittany jumped and stepped back a little.

"Do not yell at her like that!" Quinn shouted at Santana, "She is your girlfriend and she is trying to help you so don't you dare think that you can just go ahead and yell at her like that!"

"I wanna go home," Santana whispered and hung her head.

"Santana, you can't go home," Mr Schue told her, "But just come with me and we can talk." She shook her head. "Come with me, now please."

"No." Santana pulled away from the teacher, took out her ponytail so her dark hair was hanging loose and broke off the necklace that she was wearing round her neck. "There, I'm not Santana any more," she screamed. "The old Santana anyway."

"Don't do this," Brittany choked up, close to tears again. "Of course you're Santana."

"Was," Santana snarled at her, "Not any more. I'm a changed person."


	19. Santana's Confession

**Boris Yeltsin: Things are getting bad again.**

Santana was sat quietly in the quiet room, her hair hanging loosely around her shoulders and her arms folded angrily across her chest. She didn't even know why she was here. Mr Schue had sent her. She sighed deeply and kicked the chair in front of her over and over. The door soon opened and Mr Schue walked back in with the blue folder again. Santana felt close to tears; she hadn't needed anything from the folder in ages.

"This hasn't happened in ages, has it?" he asked her but she didn't say anything. "I want you to write what you did wrong and why you think it happened," he said and slammed a sheet of paper and a pen down in front of her. "Just one side of the paper should do it." Santana was silent, "That was appalling behaviour Santana. You are not five!"

"Yeah well you don't help, do you?" Santana screamed, standing up. "You hate me, just like everybody else! What happened when we were in here earlier, eh?" Mr Schue just crossed his arms, "Don't you remember? Because I do!"

"All I asked was how you were," he sighed.

"And you wanted me to spend my Science lesson in here!" she screamed, "Taking me away from my friends and not treating me like a normal person! Just because I happened to throw stuff over Finn, I'm on medication now!"

"This behaviour does not sound like you are on medication!" he yelled back. "Are you taking it? Tell me the truth!"

"YES!" Santana screamed loudly.

"Don't yell at me like that," he scolded her, "Don't you dare yell at me like that! I am your teacher Santana and if you don't want to get suspended again then I would stop right now if I was you." Santana was silent and just stared at the floor. "Now..."

"Can I go please?" Santana interrupted him. He was fed up of this. He sighed and nodded, allowing her to leave and hoping that she would calm down eventually. She found Brittany coming her way. The blonde saw how pissed off she looked and pulled her in for a really comforting hug. "Thank you B; I needed that, thanks."

"You said thanks too many times," Brittany giggled, "What's wrong babe?"

"Mr Schue is getting on my last nerve," she told her, "Keeps saying that my behaviour is appalling and accusing me of refusing to take my medication; I'm getting fed up of it." Brittany hugged her again and rubbed her back. "Can I have ten bucks?"

"Whatever for?" Brittany asked, "That's an awful lot of money."

"Cigarettes; I'm out." Santana said. Brittany hated it when Santana smoked. Her uncle was a smoker and he died of lung cancer and she didn't want that happening to Santana. Usually she'd say sure and give her the money but this time she gave a totally different answer.

"No," Brittany shook her head, "I don't like you smoking Santana. My uncle died and I don't want anything happening to you; I'm not paying for cigarettes for you, not this time."

"Fine," Santana sighed and nodded, resting her head on Brittany's shoulder. "Do you think I'm crazy Britt?"

"I could never think that you were crazy," Brittany said, "You're my girlfriend and I love you."

"Thank you; I guess that makes me feel a little better," Santana whispered. "You mean the world to me Brittany. I'm sorry I upset you and I'm sorry that I yelled at you earlier. I was just angry and..."

"Can we talk about that San?" Brittany asked, "Why were you angry? You went back to how you were before the doctor's appointments and the medication? What happened?" Santana shrugged her shoulders. "Are you taking your medication? Be honest now."

"No," Santana shook her head, "I...I'm not."

"Why not?" Brittany asked, "Don't you want to get better?"

"Of course I do," Santana sighed, "I do want to get better but it...it just screams crazy at me."

"What do you mean?"

"I go and take it but then I realise that I...I'm mental and that's why I have it. I want to be a normal person without having to take medication for the rest of my life to try and calm my moods down."

"I know honey," Brittany kissed her, "But you need to take it or you get like this, it will help you." Brittany thought for a second, "I'll help you yeah? I'll help you remember, every morning I'll send you a text to remind you and I'll make sure you take it at lunch and I'll text you again at night okay?" Santana nodded with a smile. "I just want you to get better and I'm sure you want it too."

"I do," she whispered.

"And we'll have that routine until you start taking it on your own okay?"

"Okay," Santana nodded and smiled, "Thank you Brittany; I...I love you."

"I love you too."


	20. The Talk

**Boris Yeltsin: Hopefully it does.**

**Ishallcallyousquishy: Yeah he annoys me too and I'm the one writing it. Love your pen name by the way, I love Finding Nemo. **

Santana was just biting into a slice of jam toast when she heard her phone buzz next to her. Aletta looked up from drinking her coffee and noticed her daughter go and pick up her phone. They had a strict rule about texting whilst at the table.

"Excuse me?" Aletta coughed, "I know it's only breakfast Santana but you know the rule. Phone down."

"It's probably Brittany," Santana told her, "She's helping me with my medication by texting me morning and night to make sure I take it and stuff. Can I just look?" Aletta hesitated but nodded, seeing as it was to do with her daughter's health. Santana checked her phone and saw two new messages, both from Brittany.

_Remember to take your medication missy – B x _

Santana laughed at that as she checked the second message from Brittany.

_Oh and bring it to school so I can remind you to take it at lunch as well – B x_

"Brittany's being such a good friend to you," Aletta smiled in agreement. "I have to admit that I...I wasn't overly pleased when you told me that you were a lesbian but I'm beginning to realise that Brittany does indeed make you happy."

Santana replied to Brittany's messages with _Have done and it's already in my bag – S x_

"Yeah," Santana nodded as she finished her toast, "She does." Just as Santana put her phone down on the table, it buzzed again. This time, there was a message from Finn. "What the hell is Finn texting me for?" she asked aloud.

"What?" Aletta questioned.

"Nothing," Santana sighed and shook her head as she opened up Finn's message.

_As soon as you get to school, come to the choir room. We need to talk. – Finn x_

Santana felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach. Those four little words 'we need to talk' were never a good sign. She didn't tell her mom though. She just said that Brittany had text her back before grabbing her bag and heading off to school. The entire way there, she wondered what Finn needed to talk about. She reached school and went straight to the choir room. The whole of glee club was in there, including Brittany.

"What's going on?" Santana asked, dropping her backpack by the door. Brittany came over and gave her a hug and a kiss. Santana felt no urge to kiss her back though as she scanned the room. "What's going on?" she repeated her question, aiming it at Finn this time seeing as he was the one who'd texted her.

"Take a seat," he said and Rachel pushed her down in an empty chair. "How are you today?"

"Fine," she scowled and shrugged her shoulders, "Why? Look, I had one outburst yesterday okay? Brittany talked to me and we've sorted it so you don't need to tell me to take my medication, I have done."

"It isn't that," Finn said, "Santana; we're worried about you."

"Holy crap; not this again," Santana snapped, "You're going to give me the same speech that you gave me after I was outed. You don't need to worry about me, I am fine!" Santana stood up and folded her arms across her chest.

"Yesterday scared us all," Rachel cut in as Santana turned towards her with a glare. "You haven't acted out like that in ages; what brought it on?" Santana didn't answer her. "Okay then," Rachel sighed and sat back in her chair.

"We're just concerned," Mercedes spoke and bit her lip as Santana sat back down, "That someday you...you might do something stupid."

"Like what?" Santana whispered.

"I was in a really bad place at the beginning of this year." It was now Quinn's turn to speak. "I dyed my hair pink, I got a nose ring, a tattoo, I dressed all in black, quit glee and the cheerio's and I took up smoking but there was something that I did that I never told anyone about until now." She sighed and took a deep breath, "I began cutting myself." Santana's eyes widened, "I slit my wrists until they bled and I kept on doing that because of how good the pain felt. Luckily, I...I never cut deep enough to get taken to hospital or anything but...that's what Mercedes, Finn and Rachel are talking about."

"Before I sang girls just wanna have fun to you," Finn began speaking again, "I...I told you that I didn't want you to die. I said that you deal with your anxiety by attacking other people and that someday you...you may start attacking yourself. What if that does happen, eh?"

"I won't be able to live with myself," Brittany said and Santana glanced towards her.

"You have all of us though Santana," Kurt spoke up. "And if you don't take your medication then...then you could end up in hospital or you...you could end up cutting yourself like Quinn did. None of us want that to happen."

"I appreciate your concern but I really am fine," Santana said, swallowing hard to try and hold her tears in. "I am not as stupid as Quinn. I'll never do anything like that."

"Yeah?" Mercedes asked, "Then...Then why did you try to kill yourself?" Santana was silent, "You cut yourself in the stomach," she continued, "I know you were in a really dark place then and it was a onetime thing but what if it does happen again? What if cutting becomes a regular thing for you? Then what?"

"It won't!" Santana screamed, cutting Finn off before he could speak again. "I'm out of here." Brittany stopped her before she could leave the room though.

"Let me help you," Brittany begged.

"Britt, we've worked it out. I'll be okay."

"I...I just don't want anyone getting hurt; especially you."

"Brittany," Santana leaned in and planted a kiss on her cheek, "I'll be okay," she added with a smile before picking up her bag and leaving the room.


	21. Counselling

**Boris Yeltsin: Yeah.**

**GleekBrat: Thank you.**

Aletta Lopez pulled up outside a small little house. Trees grew outside and a sign that read 'beware of the dog' hung on the front of the fence. Santana climbed out of the passenger seat and stared up at the two storey building. It looked friendly enough on the outside but was it on the inside?

"You'll be fine," Aletta reassured her and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Come on." Santana nodded and took a deep breath, making her way up the path to the front door. Aletta saw her hesitation so reached out to ring the bell for her. A woman with short, brown hair answered. Santana had expected her to look totally smart but she was dressed casually in jeans and a plain white t-shirt.

"You must be Santana," she smiled kindly; "I'm Lynne. Do come inside, is your mom staying?"

"Yes I am," Aletta nodded and shuffled Santana inside, "Come on darling; hurry it up."

"I do my sessions in the living room," Lynne said to Aletta, "So would you like to sit in the kitchen?" Aletta nodded, "Okay, would you like a drink at all? Santana?"

"I'll have a cup of tea," Aletta said.

"Water please," Santana whispered quietly.

"Okay, one cup of tea and one water," Lynne said and went into the kitchen. Santana went to follow but was stopped as a huge black Labrador jumped up at her, licking her ears and making her laugh. "Oh, that's just Sparky. Don't worry, he won't hurt a fly." Santana petted Sparky on the head and he got down, looking up at her and wagging his tail. "Okay, here is the cup of tea."

"Thank you," Aletta thanked her and sat down at the kitchen table, "How long is it?"

"An hour," Lynne told her, "If you'd like to take a seat anywhere in the living room Santana," she said, "I'll bring your water through." Santana nodded and went to sit down in the living room, Sparky jumping up onto the couch beside her. Lynne soon came in and placed the glass of water on the coffee table. "Are you okay with Sparky? I can put him outside if you want."

"No, he's fine," Santana said and began tickling behind the dog's ears.

"So Santana, how are you feeling today?" she asked her.

"Fine," Santana shrugged, "I'm only here because everyone is worrying over me for no reason."

"You were diagnosed with multiple personality disorder?" Lynne asked and Santana nodded, "What happened there? How did you suddenly get diagnosed with that? What happened?" she asked as she got a pen and opened up her notepad. Santana somehow found that stroking Sparky helped her feel much better and more comfortable during the counselling session.

"I had these little outbursts," Santana said, "Where I just screamed loads and had really bad mood swings and I...I just couldn't remember what happened afterwards. Then I kept talking about Snix who people said weren't real and sometimes I...I was Snix."

"And you're on medication now, right?" Santana nodded, "How's that going for you?"

"Alright," Santana shrugged, "I...I wouldn't take it at first but my...my girlfriend Brittany helped me out and helped me get into this routine."

"You're girlfriend Brittany? Are you two close?"

"Very," Santana smiled and nodded, "We...We've always been best friends but now we've started dating. She's really supportive and reminds me to take my medication every day and now I'm taking that and I haven't had an episode in a while."

"That's good," Lynne smiled, "It's good for someone to have someone as supportive as Brittany."

"Yeah," Santana agreed, "It is. My mom's being pretty supportive as well which is good."

"I'm sure she was very worried about you, wasn't she?" Santana nodded, "As well as everyone else?" Santana nodded again, "And you attempted suicide at one point, what happened there then?"

"I...I was feeling really fed up and I...I cut myself. Quinn and Brittany found me but they said that...that I'd called myself Snix or something so that kind of scared them. I was in hospital for a few days but I haven't done it since."

"Who's Quinn?"

"One of my best friends," Santana said, "She and Brittany are."

"Are you and Quinn close?"

"We used to be," Santana said, "Like really close and then we kind of drifted apart. We've become closer recently though."

"That's good. So, what do you like to do Santana?" Lynne questioned, "As in hobbies, what do you like doing?"

"Drawing," Santana shrugged, "Cheerleading, dancing and singing. I'm captain of the Cheerio's at school which is our cheerleading squad and I'm in glee club. That's basically a club where we sing and dance and go to competitions, it's really fun."

"Yes, I was in a glee club when I was your age," Lynne said. "It's good to have a hobby that you enjoy."

"Yeah," Santana nodded and took a small sip of her water. "Thank you for seeing me anyway."

"No problem," Lynne smiled, "It's a pleasure."

"Yeah, Brittany was right," Santana said, "Talking to someone really does help."


	22. Epilogue

**Boris Yeltsin: Yeah.**

"I'm glad that you're finally getting some help," Brittany smiled as she and Santana walked through the corridors of McKinley, "It means a lot to me. I hate it when you get all angry and stuff, it really upsets me."

"Thanks," Santana whispered, "And Lynne is really nice as well. I've been going for a number of weeks now and she really gets me."

"Does your mom go with you?"

"Yeah," Santana nodded, "But she doesn't sit in the session with me. She just sits in the kitchen and sometimes has a private chat with Lynne about how I've been getting on. I have another session tomorrow, will you come with me?"

"Course I will," Brittany said and hugged her, "Anything to help you honey; I'll be there. Are you coming to Spanish class?" Santana shook her head, "Why not? Please don't skip; I'll have no idea what to say to Mr Schue."

"I'm not skipping," Santana laughed, "I just have an appointment with Miss Pillsbury; that's all."

"How comes?" Brittany asked, "You're getting counselling; you don't need to see Miss Pillsbury as well, do you?"

"Mr Schue thinks I should, just so I can talk to someone during the school day as well," Santana shrugged, "I won't be long and you don't need to tell Mr Schue anything because he knows where I am." Brittany nodded and hugged and kissed her before Santana headed off to her appointment.

"Ah Santana, come on in," Miss Pillsbury smiled as Santana entered the office. She shut the door behind her and walked inside, taking a seat. "How have you been?"

"Alright," Santana shrugged, "Better anyway."

"And you've been taking your medication?" Miss Pillsbury asked and Santana nodded, "That's good; that's good to hear. I understand you've been getting some counselling outside of school, is that true?"

"Yeah," Santana nodded, "With a woman called Lynne, she's really nice and it does help me quite a bit." Santana paused, "I have Brittany as well and she...she really helps me."

"You've come a long way Santana; I'm glad everything is working out okay for you." Santana smiled but felt herself blushing bright red. "I'll let you get off to class now; we'll talk again another time." Santana thanked her and got up to go back to Spanish class. Mr Schue smiled at her when she entered and she smiled back, going to take her seat next to Brittany.

"Are you okay?" Brittany asked.

"Yeah," Santana nodded and hugged her, "Never been better."

**THE END! **


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